Greetings from Surrey

Ok am new here so am writing this post to say hello to all the members - look forward to meeting many more of you.

Even after a short scan through the forum posts I can see many that strike a chord with me.

We are not that far into impending separation. Still live under the same roof even. But my partner was unhappy with our relationship for quite a while, some of it to do with failed IVF some of it to do with me not giving her enough attention, some to do with insolvency in my business, and also some to do with us both working opposite ends of the day.

Instead of sitting down and having an adult conversation about how we might be able to turn the situation around I find myself having the 'I've slept with someone else' conversation and 'I want a divorce'. I also find myself wondering where the hell she is some nights, with her preferring to 'go and find herself', that sometimes means with the bloke she slept with or some other blokes from the gym.

My heart still wants to work at this and solve the fixable problems, but she just wants to kick in the opposite direction and work out how she feels - she sometimes says 'c'mon I'm doing you a favour'.

Am getting royally used I know and I should put my foot down and get the separation finalised. But for some small amounts of time, we sit here and feel quite normal again for a while.... until the next time she decides to tell me at the last minute, I'm going out with nnnnn (to do the things I used to like doing with her), and won't be back till late.

Hey hum - not the first time through the mill for me - like history repeating itself.

I - surrey.

Hi and welcome to wikivorce. The reasons for finding us are not the greatest - but the support here is very comprehensive. As you've already discovered, there are many here in your situation. So post away and find your feet; if you feel up to it, there's usually a good crowd in the chatroom so feel free to pop in and introduce yourself.

Shezi

this forum will help you keep your sanity

mutual pain however unpleasant is its own opiate

in a strange way none of us want to be here

or wish anyone else was either

but the times require a forum like this

and wikivorce is doing the best of the ones i've seen:)