Had enough

I have been with my husband for 32 years. Have put up with adultery,verbal abuse cannot tolerate any more. We have two grown daughters and one approaching 16. They do not know of the adultery but the constantly witness the abuse. For my own sanity and the love of my children I feel ready for divorce. I have not fallen out of love with my husband but cannot tolerate any more especially as I now feel he is a psychopath who only thinks of himself. I have never been abusive to him and still carry out my wifely duties.

People who know me see me as a caring outgoing and fun loving person. But deep down inside I am very sad and it is getting worse, that is why I feel it is time to call it quits for my own sanity.

I believe in God and have spiritual values.

Explain situation to your children. Hubby takes advantage, abuse, adultery and manipulation - no excuses! IT IS NOT LOVE, IT IS ABUSE IN VARIUOS FORMS. Get out of your marriage, do not feel guilty. Yr confidence is low - try new experiences, night school, walking club etc. Hubby has NIL respect for you, abuse still continues....
PS you are making the right moves by talking to people - best wishes. Don't forget - there is no passage in the bible where you are instructed to be a doormat.!

(((((prettymummy))))

32 years is a long time to try and make a marriage work. If it doesn't and your happiness is being drained away by abusive and selfish behaviour then it is time to call it quits.

I did it after 12 years when my health was suffering due to constant stress and IBS. Domestic Violence Support Services helped me see that he is an abuser and my daughter would grow up thinking it is normal for men to hit women and cheat. That was my wake up call and I called it a day!

I am spiritual as well and strongly believe that God wants us to be happy. He also wants us to treat others well which abusive selfish husbands like yours and mine turn a blind eye to! What they do is not love it is abuse. I am a happier person having left him and my daughter now has a positive role model!

Talk to your GP and get a referral to a counsellor. Your local Domestic Violence team will also be able to help out. Take care and be strong.

TTC xx

Hi thanks for the advice. I feel ready to call it quits now. I realise it is very true when they say a leopard never changes its spots. We have broken up a few times and he will promise to change. He does but not for long.

I have three beautiful,intelligent daughters whom I'm proud of and spend a lot of time with. He has rarely spent time with any of them. I come from a large close extended family all living a few minutes away from each other, which has helped me to bring up my daughters with good morals.

I know they will all be thrilled when they see me make the first step.

Thanks for your support and advice.

I wish you lots of luck prettymummy.
Walking away from a relationship when you know it's bad for you, but you still love the fella, takes an awful lot of guts, strength and determination.

But you're in a rut, and you can see that, which is brilliant. Now all you need to do is reach for the doorhandle....

Thanks for your support.