What do i do now?

We have been together for 15yrs and married for 4yrs

8 Days ago My husband asked for a Divorce via email. whilst i was in the UK looking after his mothers cats whilst she was on holiday.

We moved to West Africa almost 3yrs ago for his job, he said he wouldnt take the job if i didnt go with him. so i made the choice to go with him.

So i left a job i enjoyed and of course my family and friends.

We have a house in the UK which we rent out and have just started a new lease with new tenants.

After the email, he refused to speak to me and said that he was going on business, and he wanted a new life so to come back to West africa pack my things and leave. I flew back straight away and we didnt argue, i just said that we needed to work on our marriage and to give it another go. He said his mind is made up and denies that there is anybody else.

We do not have kids, however have a dog and cat who are like our kids. To avoid quarantine i have to take the pets to europe and stay there for 6 months before going back to the UK for good.

I explained to my husband that i can't plan a move to another continent with pets in the space of 2 weeks whilst he is away on business.

Before husband went on business he left his wedding ring

Don't know what to do, still in West Africa, husband still away on business.

You don't say whether you are renting in Africa or have a job there.

I think you'd be better off moving back and divorcing here, if that is what is inevitable.

Sadly one partner in a marriage has often decided its over and moved on emotionally before the other person, and then they just want shot of you asap.

Its a company house in Africa and i work on temp contracts next one is for 3 weeks in September.
If it comes to Divorce, then yes I agree i should and will divorce in the UK.
What I dont understand is how he (husband) can throw 15yrs away so easily.
Your last statement really hits home and sums it up in a nutshell.
Thanks

It's very difficult - we want answers, but there are no answers that would make things better.

My husband walked away from 31 years together without a seeming passing glance, to live with someone who is "so compatible" with him. It would have been nice if he'd been brave enough to tell me about her, but turns out he was a pathetic coward who took advantage of my trusting nature. He thought I was very unreasonable when I refused to carry on doing his washing!

I am sorry that he now wants out. Please rely on the support boards for the emotional support you may require right now, while replying on the legal boards to answer your legal Qs.

Nell, that is it exactly, that they have moved on emotionally! They have aleady opted out and are just working out how to leave. I had a gut instinct that something had changed between us and asked him several times, in a straightforward way and all I got was a list of trivial complaints against me. I challenged that too and he still said nothing. I felt really stupid when I found out about his affair.
Interestingly this caring person gave no reaction at all when he knew I had been sent home from work as I was so upset and had been sat in my car at a local beauty spot not wanting to go home.
They are very cruel and deserve to be trated in the same way. Ironically my husband had been treated badly by his first wife and had found it very painful!

The hurt and pain does lessen in time but it is hard to accept what has happened and we are often left in a difficult situation. I had given up a well paid job with his blessing in 2004 to do less hours and do something I loved for little pay. He was also happy for me to pay off all our debts and buy us a car each when I had a legacy. They really ae unbelievable.

You need to get legal advice and make plans for your future. Before you leave make sure you have his National Insurance number and employee details!
I hope you manage to sort out your pets, they will be a comfort to you. Walking my dogs gets me out every day and gives me time to myself.
Good luck!