Alone For The First Time In 19 Years

and you are thinking about the good times because you didn't want your marriage to end. Be grateful for the good times. But try to think about letting go of the past.

Its only 2 weeks you are bound to feel bad. I am almost a year down the line and still feel bad. Some people move on very quickly, others take longer.
I might be speaking out of turn here, but if you still have feelings for your ex and realise where you went wrong, have you thought about going to Relate to try and work through it with the help of professionals? Might be worth a try, if you think there's hope.
x

i know that feeling my wifes just told me its over after 31yrs
its lonely frigtening three weeks ago no one to seakto

Paul,

You've come to the right place if you've got no-one to talk to. My wife left about 2 months ago, and this is a great place for support and advice, there's a lot of good people here.
I know exactly what you mean about you thinking of the good times & her thinking only of the bad times. I'm exactly the same. Like Nell said, you think of happy times because you dont want it to end, your wife remembers the bad times because that is helping her to justify her decision.
These are horrible, horrible times, but we must believe that things will get better. Good luck.

Hey Paul

Its bound to be strange being on your own after so long, 19 years in your case.

I was married for nearly 23 years, we separated in January and that was the first time I'd ever been on my own.

Ive not had it easy thou, going into work with a smile on me face when all I wanted to do was cry, yell... you know the drill.

Now Im divorced and my life is okay. Ive not got the worry of what might happen next and the freedom... well thats great. I will give my X some credit thou, he never restricted me in any way.

So good luck to you, I wish you well.

Helli

x

The reason the party wanting the divorce only thinks of the bad times is because they try to justify what they are doing to their former partner. What is difficult but must be faced is that the person who shared the good times is not the same person any more and we are grieving for something that no longer exists.
It really does get better but it's a long haul! I still get bad days after 2 years but I can hold my head up with pride that I did not lie or cheat on my husband of 18 years and I have never done anything but love and support my family. His loss!
I celebrate my achievements and my kids often tell me they are proud of me. Only this morning I helped my daughter with a journey (she had been promised a lift to the airport and had been let down. )As she was watching me do the vehicle checks and said 'I am so proud of you Mum' (That was his domain!).
I treasure these special moments.
It is very early days for you. When I look back I can se that I was in shock for weeks in the beginning.
Good luck

Itgetsbetter wrote:

You will find that you have good days and bad days and often there is no apparent reason why! A friend described it to me as a rollercoaster and she was right. Important thing is not to beat yourself up over it, drag yourself through the bad days, make the most of the good ones and you will get through this and build a new life.

All the best

Thank you for this,
I am having such an incredibly crap day and this somehow has helped me realise that this too soon will pass xxxx