Introduction

Hi,
I've been lurking on the site for a while popping in and out now and again so I thought I should make a little introduction.

I am a young 41 year old chap. Got married in 1998 and I separated about 2 years ago at which time my ex moved over 300 miles away. I have 2 children, a son aged 5 (nearly 6) and a daughter of 9. No divorce proceedings have been started yet.

The children moved with my ex which made regular contact difficult so I visited them whenever I could. I should say that she did not make any attempts to stop me seeing the children so at that time only the distance was a problem.

A few months ago she moved again, this time only about 70 miles from me at which time I started having the children stay with me every weekend.

So, what problems have we faced?? Well nothing with finances or property as we had dropped off the property ladder a while ago. I paid for everything in their lives for the first year (expensive) thereafter we agreed on more reasonable financial support terms.

Unfortunately it became apparent that my ex had developed a serious alcoholism problem and now after the second time of police and social services involvement I have removed my children from her. Because I removed the children, we have avoided them being placed on the at risk register but my ex's problem is such that she will not be having them for any overnight contact for the foreseeable future.

I am careful to ensure I do not say anything bad about my ex to the children and I encourage them to chat to her on the phone. As this is all very recent I have taken them to see her but not left them unsupervised as yet.

Big changes for us all as I was living in a 1 bedroom flat so this weekend I move to a 3 bedroom house and currently I am doing all the practical things like arranging school, doctors, childcare etc.

I also now have a new partner and who will be moving in with me and the children so we live together. I met my new partner long after we separated so this was not the reason for the separation. I have since found out that my ex had decided to meet other men prior to the separation but as I didn't find this out until well after we separated, again I cannot say that was the reason.

Fortunately the children get on really well with my girlfriend and in fact my daughter has found it really nice chatting to her about all the bad things which have happened due to her mums alcohol problem. I am happy to let her talk openly without my presence as my girlfriend works as a psychiatric nurse in a child and adolesent unit so she is sensitive to childrens vulnerabilities etc. Oh and not that it should make a difference but my girlfriend is 15 years younger than me.

Life doesn't get any easier as many on here seem to have experienced and unfortunately with impeccable timing I have just been told I am being made redundant (let me know if you know of any jobs going - I am a solicitor, although I don't deal with family/matrimonial law I hasten to add).

So there is a potted history of the past couple of years of my life and experiences to date.

I don't always deal well with the ups and downs but I am holding things together so far and I am happy to chat to others here who may be going through similar times.

Thanks for reading...

Hallo and welcome to Wikivorce

There are a few peeps on here whose marriages have been wrecked through alcoholism.

The redundancy is bad news, though you are far from alone, but a new start with new house and gf is a plus.

My own story is that I was with ex for 31 years (I am an incredibly young 53 year old - I say incredibly because I can't believe it!!!) and am in marital home with 2 teenage sons.

Ex has moved 5 mins drive away to be with his "so compatible" woman and her younger children.

I've been through anti-depressants and counselling, met some wonderful people through this site and am now fine. I am saddened by ex's lack of interest in his own children, but nothing I can do about that.

Pop into chat to talk to supportive, friendly people, and post your queries on the forums.


Nell