hello

Hi, Havent a clue where to start!!!!

at the beginning! Don't worry about the length of your post, just get it all out and people will start to comment and hopefully that might give you some direction.

Welcome to wikivorce Gemma.

Thank you!! Im going through a very messy divorce, he's divorcing me on grounds of my unreasonalbe behaviour when i didnt do anything- he told me on my birthday he didnt love me anymore, had only been married 5 months. was totally out of the blue. Now im putting a cross Petition in and have to represent myself at court to reduce coasts. has anybody done the same?

Just take your time ask what you want when your ready and the wiki peeps will help, feel free to use the chat room for questions or just a chat, you can read this its a good starting point so you know what to expect,

Wellcome to wiki Gemma

so sorry to hear your story Gemma - you sound like you are well rid, as many of us here are. Plenty of people here you know how you feel and who are willing to talk, help and advise.

As for the cross Petition - I considered this, very seriously, as I felt so angry he had been having an affair and wouldn't even admit it at the time the petition was drawn up. He seems to feel that it's all my fault and that I deserve everything I get....my so-called unreasonable behaviour was all lies and very hurtful.

I am sure many people will now respond to you with this same advice - the cross petition may make you feel better but it makes no difference. It is unlikely it will go anywhere and will just cost you money that you could otherwise be using to rebuild your life. There is a box in the acknowledgement of service which states that you do not agree to the reasons but that you don't contest the divorce - that is the box you should tick.

Divorce is 'no blame'. You will not come off 'worse' because he divorces you.

Just a thought - you can't get divorced before you've been married a year can you?

Try not to dwell on the petition - the outcome will be the same, whatever happens you'll get a divorce. Pointless fighting it, however tempting it may be. Take care of yourself - it's a long road.

Hello Gemma

Who divorces who and for what reason doesnt really matter the end result is the same so think about it before cross petitioning, section 13 of the UB Petition is quite often a work of fiction but if it helps the petition is private only solicitors and court officials see it so think about just denying that part and signing it allowing the process to begin.

Did you cohabit before marriage and are thier any children from the marriage?

Oops mum beat me to it heyho and no you can`t divorce untill you have been married for one year.