Hi everyone I'm new to this

I'm 44, left my husband end of March..moved to a new area, working 2 jobs, living in rented accommodation, need to sort out our finances but don't know where to start, had so much advice from various people and am even more confused. Been to a solicitor, but am worried about the cost of it all! had a letter from his solicitor, so need to do something soon, can't decide if it will be better to divorce now or just go ahead with legal separation and how do you know if you have a good solicitor or not...

Hard to say, really. Legally, there's no reason why you can't just stay separated.
You may, quite reasonably, want to take time out and consider your options. You may want a trial period apart to assess whether a divorce is what you really want. There is no urgency unless you want to re-marry, which it seems you don't.

But of course your husband may want to force the issue himself. Would he, at this stage, have any grounds, though ?

What is your husband's solicitor saying ? If you can tell me that I might be able to suggest possible responses.

LMM

Hi Mike
Thanku for your reply, when I left I did assume it would be temporary and once we had both got over our anger some 4-6 weeks later we continued to see each other, but it all came to a head at the ends of June. He moved out of our shared rented house into a 'penthouse' which I had no problem with, what I was upset about was that certain items which I would have liked to of kept were gone! when I asked about them he said I should have asked, but then so should he! He has kept most of our things as I have no room for them where I am (single mobile home). Throughout the time we were 'seeing' each other he kept breaking it off but then wanted to continue as did I. We booked a holiday in June for the first week in July but then he texted me again!! saying he couldn't go coz it was too soon and would do his head in, which was paid for unbenown to me out of our savings, I went alone only to find out(on my wedding anniversary) while I was there that he had booked and gone somewhere else. It was the week before I went that it came to a head as I asked to sort out the finances, I said I wanted half of our savings (equity of the house we sold) which was fine! and half of the equity of a flat in his name bought when he sold his house and moved in with me, as I said he wouldn't have been able to buy it if he hadn't moved into my house, he went MAD said I'd spoken to a solicitor (hadn't) and that was it! He totally blames me for the split. Anyway while I was away I decided not to speak to him again and began emailing as he promised to pay half of the savings into my account on my return, which he still hasn't done! meanwhile I have had a letter from his solicitor outlining what he is prepared to pay which is 50% of the equity of the flat AFTER he has taken out what he put in (31,000) my argument is that when we bought my council house I got 38,000 discount which we shared so why should he keep it all. I am not after bleeding him dry I just want to be able to look after myself. He's fine he has his own business (accountant) and can afford a nice lifestyle. I am the one lying awake at night worrying! I do wonder if he has engaged solicitors just so it will cost me money, which he knows I can't afford!
Phew!!
Sorry about the rant, I hope you can make sense of this and thanks again

No advise sorry, I'm new too, just sending a welcoming Hi!

btdt

Welcome. You can have a Separation Agreement re the finances but this may later be overturned if it is not seen as fair. A legally binding financial settlement happens once you have a Decree Nisi (see wiki step by step guide to divorce).

Look at www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Financ...to-calculate-a-fair- financial-settlement.html

This sets out what is considered when assets are divided on divorce.

You can use the on site Divorce Calculator for guidance or if you want wikipeeps to give you a view, you need to provide the following information:

Ages
Length of marriage + pre marriage cohab
Children - ages, genders and arrangements for them (nights with each parent)
Incomes (inc Tax credits etc if applicable)
FMH Value and outstanding mortgage + size of FMH
Value of other assets in sole of joint names - savings, shares, endowments
Pensions - CETVS
Liabilities in sole or joint names - loans, debts etc

Hadenoughnow