Hi All....

Hi all I’m a thirty seven year old man with two beautiful sons, five and six years old and I thought a wonderful wife.

It’s been fifteen weeks since my wife called the police and I was arrested for assault and criminal damage. I was released the next day without charge, in reality we had just had a heated argument with no physical assault or damage.

I decided to stay at my parents for a couple of days, my wife agreed an accompanied meeting at our house to discuss the situation. It was a set up, a large stocky man banged on the front door and served me court papers for a non molestation and occupation orders. I left our home in disbelief with only in the clothes on my back.

The court hearing was six days later, I employed a solicitor and together we attended the court. The only way to revoke the orders was to adjourn that day, for a fact finding something or other and re-attend the court again a few weeks later. From my point of view that was costly and more importantly it meant I couldn’t see my children until then. I accepted the orders with conditions that I regularly have contact with my children, telephone contact on a daily basis, access to my garage during working hours (storage for my business) and two hours access to my home to collect my personal things.

Anxiety, depression and stress, I sure know the true meaning on these now. With very supportive friends and family, life started to seem a little brighter especially when I was spending time with my children. My wife and I would communicate via text messages to arrange contact, which my solicitor advised was ok because it benefitted the children.

One morning my father was awoken at 5.45 by the police, they had a warrant for my arrest for breach of court orders. I was temporary staying at home but at the time working away. I couldn’t believe the news, my world came crashing down again. After two weeks I handed myself in to the police but again was released without charge, my wife claimed I was harassing her through text messages.

It’s now been four and a half weeks since the last contact with my children, I’m back in court next month to hopefully obtain a contact order. I just miss my children so much how selfish my wife is being.

Does any of this ring a bell with any of you, is there any help or advice you could give. If so I would be truly grateful.

Thanks all Jamie

Hi Jamie,

Sorry to hear of your situation. Not sure of the reasons of your recent split. Im similar age to yourself and got 2 sons (aged 3&7).

I been through similar situation to yours and have Police called on two occasions. I never threatened her in any way and have never been violent. Never been charged or anything.

My ex was so restrictive and awkward on contact that I ended up taking her to court. I got an interim contact order and am now seeing my kids again. We went through a phase where we couldn't even talk to each other without ending up arguing. Now she co operates and for the kids we get on well - in fact the other day she even baked me a cake for my birthday.

Anxiety, depression and stress, I sure know the true meaning on these now.

I know exactly where you coming from. I had 3months of no contact - and it seems like forever. It does get you down. But be strong and take the proper route for contact as its worth it in the long term. Don't contact her as she is clearly using this against you now.

I asked my ex why she was not letting me see my kids and she would simply say... 'I am letting you see the kids. It's you who is refusing to see them as all you got to do is agree to my terms'. Her terms were a silly 3hours per week and supervised with no phone contact. Previous to our failed reconciliation I enjoyed a lot more.

I think the emotional hurt caused by many issues(rel breakdown,money,divorce,etc) then the anger caused shadows whats in the kids best interest and contact is used as a weapon. Also with some parents have control issues, as they like to dictate contact to you. Don't worry too much about this, unless she got a reasonably good reason then the courts will put her in her place.

Don't text or call her and communicate through your sol. You have taken the right route for contact by going to court.

Hope it works out for you


GF

Hi G F

Thanks for your reply and advice. I don’t even know the reason for our recent split, my ex just said her feelings towards me had changed??

Due to her losing her job and the general state of the economy over the past eighteen months, made our financial situation difficult and caused us to argue.

My goal was to work as much as I could to support the family and pay the mortgage, her aim was for me to leave so she could claim benefits??

The rest is history and its left me confused.