Hello, I'm new

Hi all, well where do I start.

I am divorcing my 2nd husband after 6 years of marriage, I have been with him 7 years. We met and got together far too quickly and were literally living together within 3 months of meeting. 2 kids each from previous relationships and to start with all was good, bit like the brady bunch.

Things didn't stay that way and to be honest I am the one who has come to realise that the relationship was gone into far too quickly and the feelings I thought I had for my husband are not the real thing and for the past couple of years I have been living in a relationship that I am truely not happy in. I have not been a proper wife to husband for some time now and it is me who has decided that enough is enough and that we should go our separate ways.

He would continue in this sham of a marriage and is making me feel very guilty about not loving him anymore (if I ever did) I think I was caught up in the whole "this situation suits us both" scenario, his kids need a mum and my kids need a dad. I just feel that we have been "putting plasters on wounds" for too long now and its time to move on.

The kids are not babies, 18, 15, 15 & 13 and so totally understand that the relationship is not working and that we would better off apart. They are constantly caughht up in the rows and thats not healthy for anyone.

I am scared of moving on and feel that my life so far has just been one disaster after another, my first marriage ended after my husband had an affair and left me when my youngest was 3 months old. I am terrified of being on my own and worry that maybe I am destined to grow old on my own.

Glad to have found this site though and hope to get some sound advice from it.

Mandy
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Hi Mandy, I'm new too and can identify with a lot of what you say. I too am on my second marriage, contemplating separation. We've been together for 6 years, married for 5. Like you we moved in together in my house very soon after meeting. I became pregnant and we got married and put my house in joint names- big mistake. The cracks were there from the start but I pasted over them, determined to make it work. We went on to have a second baby (miraculous conception considering our love life was already in trouble). He didn't want either child, already having teenage sons from his first marriage. He has now decided to stop paying his salary into our joint account, to just pay half of the mortgage& bills and something for the children. He wants to have money of his own! I don't want to live with a paying houseguest so separation seems the only way forward. Sorry to go on for so long but this is very therapeutic! send me a message if you want to compare disastrous lives