Recently divorced abroad and broken

Hi

My name is Stephen and i am 39.I had been married for 6 years to a girl from Vietnam and we have a beautiful 5 year old daughter together.Thom(my now ex-wife)lived in Belfast with our 5 year old daughter Leah for 5 years but never fully settled and missed her family so in December 08 we sold our home and emmigrated to Vietnam.Things initially were great and we were about to start building a house and then i started drinking.I had,nt drunk for 5 years and well to cut a long story short my drinking escalated to being out of control and my wife divorced me in June of this year.I had no option but to return back to Northern Ireland where i am a broken man.I really have lost everything and am even having to live in a homeless hostel.I am in the darkest depression as i love my ex dearly and how i miss my gorgeous daughter i could,nt adequetly convey by mere words.I am so lonely as i have no friends here and have no job and spend most of my time thinking about the past and how happy i was.I really feel like my life is over.The thought that hurts me most is that it was all my fault.Why did i start drinking again?I feel cheated out of what i thought was my destiny and to spend the rest of my life with my wife and raise our daughter,indeed,we were planning another child in a couple of years.My biggest regret is of course my daughter and i only get to speak to her on Skype and how can i be a father to her living so far away.I know i have to try to pull myself together and get a job but i have always suffered from low self esteem and confidence problems and this has brought me to the lowest point of my life.I feel sad and unreal most of the time and then i feel guilty as i know i should be thinking about my daughters future not my own but it really is tough right now.Anyhow thanks for reading it was good to get that of my chest

Hi Stephen,

I can just imagine how terrible it is feeling. Sometimes we do things that we don't mean to do, and might not even have a reason for doing so. The first thing you need to do though, is to learn to forgive yourself and then to love yourself. You can never love another person if you don't love yourself first. If you really want to improve yourself, then go for it with everything in you, and do it for you first!

Good luck mate, and I hope that somewhere in this place you will find a light to ignite that spark in you again.

Trying28 wrote:

Hi Stephen,

I can just imagine how terrible it is feeling. Sometimes we do things that we don't mean to do, and might not even have a reason for doing so. The first thing you need to do though, is to learn to forgive yourself and then to love yourself. You can never love another person if you don't love yourself first. If you really want to improve yourself, then go for it with everything in you, and do it for you first!

Good luck mate, and I hope that somewhere in this place you will find a light to ignite that spark in you again.

Hi Stephen,

I totally back up Tryin28's response. Focus on improving yourself first.

Take care

GF