judicial separation

wonder if anyone can help?
my husband casually announced that he is going to stop paying his salary into our joint account, and will only pay what he can afford towards our joint finances! He says he is fed up of not having any money for himself. We have a very tight budget because of a high mortgage, a CCJ and arrears due to him engineering a voluntary redundancy last year without having a replacement job lined up- he was bored with his managerial job and is now a poorly paid gardener. I earn more than him on a teaching job-share but he still thinks he has an Absolute right to personal disposable income- I have nothing left to spend on myself- it all goes on our two young children and living expenses. I am seriously considering separation because I think his actions signal the end of our marriage

Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel?

If you decide to separate it's a case of sitting down and deciding interim arrangements. The usual legal advice is for both parties to stay in the former matrimonial home until there is a final settlement and arrangements for the finances and children are in place. It is possible to have a Separation Agreement, but that's different from a judicial separation and separation agreements are always subject to review.

A judicial separation is an alternative to divorce. A court order stops the obligation of the partners of a marriage having to live together. It is quite rare to get a judicial separation, but it can be used by couples who have a moral or religious objection to divorce. The order does not end the marriage so neither partner is free to marry again.

Did you manage to sort anything out? He sounds very selfish. Just to let you know if you do seperate its harder than you think. I thought i was ready for it but nothing prepares you for the emotional roller coaster ride. Try to work it out if you can. Take Care

thanks for your message- no we didn't sort things out. He's leaving next week. He did try moving out at the weekend only to find that his mother's spare room was taken up by his son (previous marriage) but he's back in uni next week so I'll have to carry on until then. When he did 'leave' I dissolved into tears- it felt like bereavement. I could have weathered a poor, unequal marriage for the girl's sakes, until they left home, but his recent actions leave me with no option. He didn't even keep to his verbal agreement of contributing to the girl's expenses this month and although he did buy his own food, he continued to help himself to whatever he fancied out of what I'd bought making it even more difficult to manage. Plus he continued to spend from our joint account pushing it into the red, so I had the account frozen. I'm getting some advice from Community Legal Advice so hopefully there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Sorry to rabbit on and on but this is very therapeutic!

I know it is isn't it? Just to know others are going through it, although not all replies you get are what you want to hear. Anyway we lived together for a month after agreeing to split and it was unbearable. It was like war of the roses! he too left me £1500 overdrawn in the joint account and has now been gone 5 weeks and I have still not had a penny. The thing is you have made your decision, stick to it be strong, be positive, say affirmations to yourself about how you are too good a person to be treated in this way. If you go back now things will never be the same. Its gonna be hard but like you say for our own self respect we have no choice. Its like being in a tunnel and its dark, your scared you can't go back because you wasn't happy there so the only way is to continue through the tunnel and see what is at the other end. With any luck it might be a wonderful happy life.