Going through separation...

Hi my name is Anthony...I`m 45 years old and going through a separation. All my own fault, i admit that,but god its hard. Just don`t know what to do. I have helped my wife finacially as best as i can and set her up in a rented home {her choice not mine}. I am starting councilling in October to start to deal with issues i have which have caused this situation to develop.
I have been quite alot over the last few years and haven`t dealt with things as well as i should have. I`ve had a Kidney Transplant..Got married..lost both my parents to cancer and a younger brother to suicide in the space of 3 years. The one person who has been there with me throughout this is my wife who has been great. but me being the idiot here has just pushed her away and not dealt with these issues. This has obviously put a great strain on our marriage and eventually she has had enough and left. Can`t blame her at all.
What do i do now. My 15 year old daughter is staying with me at the moment and is coping quite well. I feel so selfish at the moment as i have decided to get myself sorted out first {councilling} and then sort everything else out once that process has completed. i just don`t know if this is the right thing to do...

sorry to hear about your family, i cant imagine how i would deal with this in your shoes, you say you feel selfish sorting yourself first then deal with other problems later, in my opinion this is definetly the right way, if ur still in a mess what chance have you got of sorting anything else out, definetley do councilling or whatever else as this will make you capable of dealing with anything else as you probably avoided dealing with other stuff (i used to do this all the time and it always catches up), who knows with your wife, when she sees your sorting your problems and are changing...... also as you say you have done some work to assist your wife, house etc, may not be ideal but theres plenty who get far less when seperation start.
c u space

Hi scooby

Im with spaceman on this. Put yourself right first. Its not being selfish at all. You acknowledge your issues and are willing to deal with them to get things right. Sorry about the difficult times you have had as that is a lot for anyone to take in, you are only human. This will definately have an affect on anyone.

The good thing is here that you know you have issues to deal with and are willing to sort them out.



All the best

GF