Saturday nights are hell

Hi, dont really know how to start ... Caught my husband with another woman in a restaurant. eeks. Locked him out for 6 weeks then I gave in and let him back. It lasted 2 days and he was off again. Ive been married for 35 years and my world has turned upside down. On top of that my daughter moved out today, im happy for her but very sad also. My husband decided to come back saying I have no right to stopping him live in our house and he has moved into the spare room. While he is enjoying himself on a saturday night living a single life, I am miserable. I want to sell our house, but he wont have it. It is mental cruelity what he is doing to me. He earns a considerably more than me and he now says I cannot buy anything or enjoy myself. I hate living like this, but have no money and nowhere else to go. Any advice anyone:(

I was trapped in similar circumstances for years, held to ransom due to finances and kids, wish I had done something about it a long time ago, instead I was slowly destroyed.

You have to think of yourself and your sanity and of course your long term stability.

I dont have the knowledge or experience of others on here with regards to the legalities and your rights etc, Im sure someone will answer soon. I would have thought an appointment with a solicitor would be a good start!

Take care, be strong
Dee

Thanx Dee, I havnt told many people of my circumstances, I guess I thought it was a midlife crisis. But he has cheated on me before, they never change although this is the worst. I gave him another chance and he has thrown it in my face. The thing I find hard is telling my friends about this, I have two faces, one brave one which I keep up at work and one which I cant stop crying expecially on a Saturday night.

shit in his shoes

Hi there

I completely understand what you are saying about sat nights.I find weekends are the hardest.....I am still struggling knowing that my husband is with that tramp last thing at night and waking up with her rather than me.
I can tell you what is helping me but I don't profess its a solution for everyone.
I have been making lots of plans for every weekend.Keeping myself busy seeing all the friends who I couldnt spend time with when I was too busy trying to make a happy home for me and that lying cheat.So make plans...go out....don't stay home alone.
In addition, join the gym the excercise will make you feel good and just doing something will start to make you feel empowered.
I admit that I am very tired, but the flipside is that I am getting a decent nights sleep everynight...I no longer lay awake feeling anxious and fearfull about where life goes from here.And By going out I getting back on the social horse and keeping myself busy in mind and body.
If he's out having fun, don't sit alone at home feeling sad and alone....you do the same....have some fun.
Be kind to yourself.
Take care and good luck
C

Thanks c,
I am going to try and go out, but its difficult when all my friends are married and have a good social life. I dont sleep very well during the week but weekends are impossible. So upseting that he is out there somewhere with someone enjoying himself. Will take your advice on board, I must do something or I will go mad.

Hi busylizzy,

Sorry to hear of your circumstances. There are a lot of people on here - including me, who find themselves in situations now that they have not chosen.

Can, I first of all say that you should not believe that he is always out there having fun. It's not always the case. It's just that our imagination runs riot when a partner goes off with another person. If he's played away before and come back, then it must have got worse before so that he came back to you.

You need to take a step back and think about what you really want. Long term and short term. I agree with the previous posts, that keeping busy is a good distraction. But you will have time when you will have to face that loneliness. We all do. But you will get through it.

It took me ages to go to a solicitor. But it is a good move if you are not going to self rep.

If you have no money, as I understand it, you are entitled to legal aid. This again as I understand it, is a loan that is paid back when the finances are settled - so it would come out of the 'pot'.

Don't let lack of money keep you in a rut that is slowly sapping your will to carry on. Do something positive and you will feel better. Don't let him get away with it. He has every legal right to occupy the house the same as you do, but morally he's a ***.

I'm sure some of the more legally aware people will add confirming posts to this. And there are many women on here that have been where you are.

I wish you well.
A