recently seperated

Hi, i am recently seperated from my husband of almost 14 years, our wedding anniversary is next week. He has not just left he has chosen to harrass me with text messages then when i got rid of my mobile phone he sends text messages to home phone, and pushes letters through my door in the middle of the night. The messages are cruel and brag off about seeing his ex girlfriends and that he has a son i never knew about who is keeping him so busy he does not have time for our kids.He has not made any effort to see the children aged 15,13,10,8,and twins 5 since middle of July a week after he left. He says he won't see them because he won't babysit for me and he says i will shout at him if he comes to the house although he is the one who shouted all the time and was very controlling and sometimes violent.The last time he left me (last year) he did not see the kids either and i responded to the texts but this time i have stayed silent and i feel much better for it. it has been hard not to reply to the messages with something nasty but i have really tried hard and am proud of myself. I let him come back home last time because the kids missed him and i thought it would be better for them but he never made it up to them or me and then he got fed up again and left. He would not pay anything for the kids and csa has just caught up with him and he has to pay £51 a week for 6 kids!

Hi Aprilia,

Emotions run high in the early days of seraration...and up and down as matters progress (doh)...well done you for rising above the "hysterics/tantrums/antagonisms/wotever" as it appears you have a lot to cope with. You will find a lot of info/support/knowledge/experiences on wiki and its a great place to vent/release and cope with the trials and tribulations of separation. Take care

Elle x