letting off steam

Hi there- I am new to this and just want to let off some steam. My STBX and I agreed to end our marriage just over two years ago but still stay in the same home living separate lives as our son was doing his final exams at the time. Then my STBX lost his job and it seemed a bit mean to initiate divorce proceedings until he had sorted himself out. He has now done that and got a new girlfriend into the bargain. Now however, it seems that because I will not allow her to stay in our marital home (where I and our son still live)she is getting upset and stating that I am controlling my husband. I was cobsmacked when STBX wanted to know my reasons for objecting to this suggestion. Is it just me who thinks that this is outrageous or AM I being unreasonable? PS. I think she has just dumped him so presumably that is all my fault!

It is difficult enough when a third party enters the dynamics without them staying with you and more importantly not giving your son time to readjust and grieve whilst the relationship of his parents is breaking down.

The best thing is to press on ASAP to divorce and separate your finances and reach a settlement.

You are not being in the least unreasonable but he is. If the boot were on the other foot what would he do? Would he be quite happy to allow another man to stay in the house? I think not and she must be a callous woman to expect it. You are right and he is wrong and there is no doubt on this.

I have to agree with Lizzie.

You are certainly not in the wrong for objecting to his GF staying in your home. If she had any common sense of decency she would not want to stay there anyway. I think the best thing you can do is get things underway as soon as possible so that you can both move on in your lives.

Why don't you tell him you are inviting a BF to stay the night and see how he reacts?

Lonely xx

sounds like he has lost touch with reality! how could that be even an option?
if it was the other way around i am sure he would be horrified at the idea! she can't have much more between the ears either to come up with that one...
you are totally right to object to this nonsense and the sooner you get shot of him the better.



all the best, chris.

Even for them to suggest it is absolutely disgraceful. I take my hat off to you because I tried to live with my STBX for a month after we agreed to seperate and it was unbearable. it was like war of the roses and we nearly ended up killing each other. he only moved out because i called the police after an outburst in front of the children. Time for him to go I think .