Need to move on

Hello All
First checked out this forum about 10 months ago, signed up 10 days ago, have browsed most days since. If I hit the post button that will be another step.

Have now been separated just over 7 months, didn't want to stop trying but subsequent events have confirmed marriage is well and truly over. Have been happier in myself since moving out, yet frequently in a real mess, nothing like a "feelgood" movie to make me feel awfull!

Am now in position where I have undisputed grounds, but I have to take that step myself. I want to move on but even when I know what I must do, I can't decide how to do it. Have seen so many posts that I can empathise with, mostly on the emotional side, and so many where I feel so fortunate (on the financial side). After losing my wife of 20+ years, I am angry that she claim so much and I feel left with so little. I know that 50/50 is fair, it just does not seem that way at the moment.

Next step is to start the divorce process, but the choices are just another issue. I've seen two different solicitors, checked out the Wiki service and downloaded forms for DIY. Form filling shouldn't present any problems, but am generally exhausted or have little time "after" work (it's often constant, have taken couple of days off to take stock). I think the Wiki service might be OK but am not sure if I do actually need legal advice to ensure that I am not taken for a ride. One of the Solicitors might be OK but I worry that it might be cheaper to meekly agree to whatever settlement is expected.

Feeling I am starting to slide again, perhaps should have just left my first posting at "Hello". This does appear to be a great forum, so sad so many of us are here!

Best wishes

Hi Confused,

you are'nt alone a lot of us on this website are at some time or other (me more than most) goes with the territory i guess! Know EXACTLY what you mean about feelgood movies - I avoid them like the plague!!!

Try not to worry to much about starting the divorce proceedings - other people on here will be able to give you brilliant advice - just take it one step at a time. Take care,

Jo xx

Awww you poor thing..please read my "does he even like me" thread...
I have just been able to start watching feelgood movies again...has taken 2 years.
Good luck to you!
x

i am now about a year separated and believe me, you will feel different about things soon.
just give yourself time to adjust slowly and bit by bit you will overcome the feelings of dispair and panic! (been there)
try not to get too far ahead of yourself and focus on each day as it comes.


all the best, chris.

Hi

It's tough, isn't it?

I've been separated 16 months, my marriage is well and truly over - husband moved out to live with someone else - but I dread actually divorcing. Partly fear of being financially worse off, but it just seems so final even though it is the next step.

We'll get there though.

Just need to find the effort to sort out various things that need doing round the house. Ex keeps promising to do them, but it ain't gonna happen!

Keep posting.

Thank you all so much for your comments, I trust you understand only too well just how much I appreciate them. I really have taken some comfort from each of you. I'll be taking things steadily and slowly.

Lou, I made it through your thread and was really pleased to find out about you, the guy (and the remote). Had me up and down a bit, thought I'd figured out the guy by the third page then started to doubt myself. Again, really glad for you and thanks for signposting it.

Very best wishes to you all
Peter