Hello there.. Another one!

Hello there, I just stumbled upon this website so thought I would say hello. I've been reading some of the other introductions and just wanted to send loads and loads of virtual moral support - this is a rough time.

I am a woman, married for 10 years this April and been with my husband for 15 years. A few years ago I had a fling during a particularly low point in our relationship but we came out of that stronger or so I thought. Then, last year, the police came knocking at my door and to cut a very very long and painful story short, it transpired that since May 2006 he has been downloading images of children on the internet. I have been reeling from this for about 12 months especially as 2 years ago we had our first daughter.

Anyhow, rightly or wrongly I was trying to bury the problem somewhere deep where it would never be allowed out (I'm a master of burying problems in a locked box in my head). However it would seem that he has finally lost the plot. Over the past couple of weeks the majority of the blame for this dreadful situation has been placed at my door. His parents have pretty much said as much. He has accused me of having an affair (I'm not - I'm living home alone with a 2 year old, holding down a job, looking after a house and a dog - where is the time). He has ranted and raved and last weekend demanded a divorce, and I agree with him, I am done with it.

Gosh - that turned into a bit of a rant. You can see that this is going to be a tricky one. His criminal record means he can't see his daughter without supervision and to date that's been me, but I can't be in the same room as him without WW3 breaking out.

He has already been to a solicitor (nothing like making me feel really good) so I am about to do the same. Feeling pretty sh*tty about it to be honest.

So "hello" again. I'm going to spend some time browsing through the site.

Phew, not really sure what to say... You have really been through it havent you? I just wanted to reach out and say 'hello', to let you know that, during the dark times, you are not on your own. Simple as that.

Hi and welcome to Wiki

Divorce is not an easy thing, but you will get plenty of advice, support and help here.

As you have already found, blood tends to be thicker than water, and often divorce means your in-laws turn on you too - sad but that's life.

Take care

S

Well very few people think divorce is their fault, they always like to blame their partner for it all, so its not surprising he is blaming you.

Since you can't be in the same room with him it looks like you will be going down the route of supervised contact.

The whole separation/divorce thing is bad enough but you are having to cope with knowing what your stbx has done and your concerns for your child too.

Stay posting here, its a great place to get support.