developments

I have been poking around on the laptop this evening and came across a site saved in my husbands favourites [retro passion], doesn't really sound that interesting but to my horror i found lots of posts from him talking about his girlfriend and how he was allowed to have a mistress! He then goes on in a further post to say his gf has dumped him and S**** AS he would have to F**** his wife now.I was enraged and called him he got such a fright that he appeared denying it all saying it all just internet bravado!
He left about 45mins ago - iam still shaking and yet again heartbroken and devastated.This episode has really set me back again - i wish i hated him

Hi again - Please take some deep breaths and try to steady yourself. It's so devastating when you find the evidence of what you suspect. My heart goes out to you. Try to stop thinking about and looking for any more evidence. Is there anyone you can get to come round for a bit tonight? Please don't stay on your own. Try to take your mind off things so you can calm down even just a little.

Take care, Bon

Hi Bon

Thanks for your words of kindness and sensitivity . He has been phoning ever since but i have not been answering, can't bear to listen to any more lies.Iam devastated but know that i have to draw a line underneath all of this and try to move on i have to do this for the sake of our child.
Do you ever recover ?
Anyway tankyou

Hey there nossinuke, you will be in shock at the moment, I know how I felt when I found explicit emails on our computer from my hubby to the ow. I can never understand why they can change into the cold hard person that they become but they do, I suppose to justify in their head about what they are doing is the right thing to do. The pain will get easier, for me a year down the track, I find myself getting angrier for allowing myself to be so trusting, and putting up with a load of crap even after I had found out about the ow, just to make him stay with me, It is very early days for you, take one day at a time, and think of your little boy, my kids were the only thing that stopped me ending my life on many occasions when I was really low,as I didnt want them having the stigma of having a mum who committed suicide, log on here, the people here are great and pulled me thru on many an occasion when I was really low, take care ausgirl

Hi Nossinuke,

I am so sorry that you've found yourself in a position that you've come to Wiki. I only found this site a couple of weeks ago but have enjoyed exchanging views, comments in mutual support which I wish I'd had at the start of things.

The early days you will need to take one day at a time and as others have said there will be lows and highs. One of the things that really helped me in the darkest days is something my sister said to me which is wherever you are at the moment in terms of feelings and situation, it will not last, it will change and it will get better.

I am five years down the road since finding out about my ex's 5 year affair. I found the loss of trust too much to risk my heart with him again and I divorced him.

This isn't about what I suffered it's actually to say that five years on I've got myself promoted at work, have met a lovely man who've I've been dating for a couple of years (despite being nearly 50; sounds so old) and realised that my ex and I were never right for each other.

I have two wonderful daughters who are now 13 and 17 and who are doing well at school with good friendships despite being 'disadvantaged' by being part of a single parent family.

Be strong and make the most of the support that you can find here. In the earliest days it will be mainly emotional but you will need to think about the practical stuff too (don't let him clear out joint bank accounts etc).

Dewlands x