Bolt from the blue!

Hello everyone.

Can't believe I have joined this website I thought all was great!

Basically my husband of 10 years (we have 2 children aged 7 and 4) told me he wants to separate. After days of tears and emotions, he finally tells me "basically we want different things", and his career is taking him to new places! He is a director in his industry and very well thought of - basically "going places".. which doesn't involve us. I have always supported his career and am totally devastated about his decision. He feels our lives have taken different paths over past few years and he is simply "moving on". He earns a good salary and we have a lovely home. I don't have family around me, as they live overseas. I do not work and haven't since I had my first child almost 8 yeas ago. He has promised to provide for us and I know the children will never go without.

However I am emotionally drained, constantly feeling sick and desperately worrying how to even think about the future (especially Xmas) I guess its too soon and I must take it day by day. He has told me he will move out in January - which isn't great as he'll rent a flat in London and I feel will not be close to the children.... I don't even know how to start to explain things to them.

Well that's it for now - I could type and type forever but most of you will probably be asleep by now! Thanks for reading, listening and possibly taking time to reply. x

Hi - I am sure you are going to get a lot better support and advice from others here, like you I am new to the site.

It's inevitable you are going to feel really raw at the moment, personally I think it is a case of getting by hour by hour, rather than day by day. You will feel moments of complete sadness and I am sure moments of anger at your OH.

Quite simply you deserve better than him. There is a lot more to life than work and money. Try to stay strong and do what I do, get on here any time you feel down and need to share thoughts and ask for advice.

Hugs from me xxx

Hi and a big hug,welcome to wiki its a site that many of us cant believe we are here and would rather not be in this position but unfortunately we are x

All i can say its a great site and i wish i found it in the begining of my divorce.So you have took a great step.You will find lots of support here and get many questions answered so feel free to post away ,even if its just to rant!

I know how your feeling to as my husband(ex now)left after 18 years of marriage.that was over three years ago now and i am so much happier as i have found me again .

Your right when you say take each day at a time your still in shock with lots of emotions and worries.take each hour at a time if a whole day seems to much.

It does get easier and better in time .Its a rollercoaster journey ahead ,try to get as much support as possible and time for yourself if you can and your kids will see you through ,i know mine did.

Take care and be strong and welcome x

Hi and welcome,iam so sorry this is happening to you - you will be completely devastated.I have myself only recently joined this forum and have found the support here amazing. My husband did a very similar thing to me three weeks ago - he announced out of the blue that he did not love me any more and had not done for two years - then left leaving me with our six year old child.Saying he'll get over it and i was to move on.Very cold and detatched and planned.
You will be going through a whole range of emotions , after all its a trauma.
See your Gp to seek help through this difficult time
Look after yourself and use this forum for help
Take care x

welcome! you have like the others said come to the right site.
my ex left me july after 19 years married and 23 years to gether. it was a bolt- he told me in a night club! choose his momemt! never saw it coming. he said i stopped him living his life lol. but i supported him throughout his naval career. i was left for up to 10 months at a time on my own with kids work family 400 miles away! but he has gone off with a 23 year old he is 43! mid life crisis????
my stbx cant believe how hard i have taken the split and the effect on me! he is emotionally detached and a stranger. he is not the man i married.
i am now 4months down the line. emotionally been a rollar coster. i went to relate,off work for 2 months. but with good support from friends family coming on here.i am getting there. my bad moments last about 10 mins and they only happen every couple of weeks! you will get there i never thought i would.
take small steps, look after yourself, come on here. you dont have to post i often just look through and this has provided me with reassurance that i am doing ok! and the main thing we are and dont need to be alone when going through this awlful process.look after yourselfxx

Looking back I can hardly believe that this situation happened to me but it is over 2 years now! We had a very happy mariage and family (or so I thought) I had 19 good years and 8 tough weeks when I wondered what wa going on (an affair as I found out). Completely out of character! As others have said possibly a mid-life crisis. It is frightening to see someone you loved and trusted turn into someone you don't even recognise. It is very hard getting through this but it does get better. You will still be in shock so just try and take care of yourself and children at the moment and ask for help from any friends to get you through.
Take care