Going round in circles

My husband and I have been together for six years and married for three. We have two children who are 2 years and 4 months old respectively.

I have mental health problems which are currently being diagnosed (they can't decide between two disorders they think I might have) and I am pretty sure my husband does too, his behaviour is very extreme. The way he acts at times amounts to psychological abuse. As a result of my mental illness, I got us into a lot of debt and lied to him about it, he now hates me.

He's said a million times now he wants a divorce, he's leaving etc but he never does. He threatens it in front of the children, which just isn't right. I am on the verge of filing for divorce against him myself.

The house is in his name only and so he thinks he can order me out of it. When I told him no he can't, he got petty and said he would stop paying the mortgage so it got repossessed then. He can't sell it without my agreement, that's written into the title deed.

He keeps saying he never wants to see the children again if we divorce, in front of them.

I'm just so sick of going round in circles. I can't afford to move out unless the house is sold and I get the money back I paid as deposit. I wish he'd make his mind up and either leave or stop threatening it.

Hello and welcome to wiki

I am sure you will get a lot of support here.

Have you got legal advice, might be an idea?

Also have you got support from your GP.

Haviing 2 young children is extremely difficult, how about support from your health visitor? Having children of that age, post natal depression can be common - make sure you get all the support you can from the services around you for now.

take yourtime and dont rush anything - get support and advice and see if you and your husband can get some counselling - even if you do split up it can be really useful to go to couple counselling.

take care
JR

hi
Jollyrocket is absolutely right - you need to try and get as much support around you as possible. Find out where you stand legally (you can find your local legal aid offices online fairly easily)so you're really clear of what he can and can't do. Also is it possible to have family and/or friends help you (eg looking after the children for an afternoon so you cna go to the lawyers etc)? When we're faced with relationship troubles we often let our pride stop us from going to the people who can help and support us the most but when it comes down to it they only ever want to see us happy. Rally everyone you trust and who can advise - they'll see you through - good luck