Finally

Most patients under psychiatric care for whatever reason are deemed to be vulnerable in the eyes of the law so she could be in professional trouble depending on her role.
Although you say that he doesn't pose a danger and is soon to be discharged the behaviour you have described would be at least investigated by the psychiatric services whether drug related or not.
Please get some legal advice before naming the other man.

hi phil
i know what your feeling right now i been there am slowly getting better my self its been 3 mths now i also found it hard to sleep and was really short temper anything would trigger it. i have 2 kids they are 26+23yrs old and have taken this quite well and been there for me even though shocked at what there mum had done.when i told them i also said that thay must not take sides or stop seeing or talking to there mum.couse what she has done to me its for me and her to sort out not them
things do get better in time even after 3mths beleave me there is light at the end tunnel

It might also be a good idea to jot down any questions you have before you go to the solicitor and take the list with you. I was in an awful state on my first visit and I couldn't think straight. Some solicitors offer the first half hour free so it's good to prepare if you can.

Thanks for all the posts, it helps to know your not alone. Calmed down a bit since yesterday and thinking a bit clearer. Still can't believe my wife cannot see the consequences of her actions in terms of the kids, her career
Trying to get a list together as far as questions I need to ask the solicitor but can barely tie my shoes at the moment.
I will ask about the naming though and take his/her advice.
Makes me sick to my stomach her acting normal, feel as though I am having a constant anxiety attack.

Dear Padraig,

You are doing ok. Take some deep breaths, we have all been in your situation. Try to eat and sleep and be kind to yourself.
We have a saying on wiki..............if you can take it day to day, if you can't take it hour by hour and if it you can't do that minute by minute is ok!
It's probably the toughest thing you have ever done but you will get there!!
Lots of love and a virtual hug x

Lots of love and a virtual hug x
Thanks spooky, needed that.

She finally left last night so today hasn't been one of my best. Finding it hard to cope with the deceit but will keep reading the advice on here and hopefully it will get better.