Hi Jay
Welcome to Wiki.
Your situation is unfortunately so similar to what I faced 2 years ago. My wife had retrained as personal trainer and group fitness instructor after our 2nd child started school.
Similar story to yours as I supported her through all the courses, I finished work early some evenings and looked after the kids while she worked - although it was more like fun that she got paid for! I ended up changing my job to be home based so we could have flexible child care.
Then when we were on a family holiday in 2007 I found out about her affair with one of her class participants. He is a younger guy with no kids and mortgage but he made her laugh. We tried to make it work and I was prepared to forgive her but she kept sneaking around to meet him.
To cut a long story short, we are now divorced, at the time it was hard and I was in pieces. I also got made redundant in the middle of the divorce so it was a pretty difficult time.
At the start of our divorce I started standing up to my ex. I refused to leave the
marital home and I refused to accept her taking the kids away. So she left and rented a place and the kids stayed living with me. I told her I would not agree to sell the house until our son had completed his GCSEs (this was at his request as he wanted stability).
I found I could manage to work and care for the children, and when we sorted out the finances I pushed for a nearly equal split on the basis that I had supported her for a number of years, and I cared for the children more than her. We agreed a settlement in
mediation.
Now I have managed to buy a lovely house that is home for me and the kids. They also spend time with their mum, but the majority of their time is with me. I have a new partner who I met through on-line dating. In my new relationship I have seen how selfish my ex was and how I indulged her ober the last few years. It is amazing how much you can see from the outside looking in, that you don't see when you are in the relationship.
So remember it is possible to get through the maze of divorce and built a different life out of it. Your new life may even feel better!
All the best
S
