Nearly divorced, hurt and confused

sadmother

A very valid point. Honest and open communication, and keeping your head OUT of the sand will only ever make the relationship better. It will not make it easy - but you'll be less likely to be here if you are honest in your communication - rather than hoping it'll work itself out!

SM,

As long as your grandson and daughter are around its never too late ...as difficult as things may seem we should never give up on our children

E

Thanks everyone xx

I have learned so much about myself over the past 6 months. I think I am a completely different person now.

I have done so much thinking, trying to analyse where it all went wrong. My current thinking (it does change day by day!) is i just don't think I married the man I thought he was. To be honest I don't think he was that man I met 7 years ago. But maybe he is a master of deception.

He was in a pretty bad place when I met him emotionally, after his divorce. Something drew him to me and I fell in love with him. He was loving and respectful to begin with but things changed ever so subtly over time. I am sure having the children made things worse for him, whereas for me, I was ecstatic.

I am sure he loves his children, but not in the same way my dad loves me for example. He never would have bailed out and left I am absolutely sure.

I do think you can't help who you fall in love with. I did truly love him, but now I can see the relationship was flawed. I was naive and he was vulnerable. When he became stronger he decided to go off and realise his ambitions. It is such a shame he didn't feel he could still do that within the marriage. But now I am truly resigned to the fact that it wasn't meant to be.

I truly believed that marriages should last forever and you should work at problems. That was based on my upbringing and no real exposure to people who had gone through divorce. I have now completely changed my mind.

My life is different now, certainly not easy, but a massive weight has fallen off my shoulders and I am remembering the person that I used to be.

I have been reading lots of peoples stories and I am amazed at what people have to suffer in their marriages. I really applaud their strengh at coming out the other side with some degree of sanity.

Here's to divorce and the end of a rotten relationship. Life is too short!

Freyja xxxx