hi

Hi,

Just thought I'd say hi to everyone. This looks like a massively useful forum.

I've been separated for 5 months now, after 26 years together. Turned out my soon-to-be-ex had been having an affair for years. I hadn't a clue, but she did seem to be spending a lot of time at conferences ...

Two lovely kids, both away at University now.

We've still to go through the whole settlement thing. I'm still in the family home, so the kids have somewhere familiar to come back to for now.

I've talked to a lawyer and I'm kind of reconciled to selling the house in time and giving my ex. half of everything.

It's all been a huge shock but my friends and family have been great; it's reminded me how important they all are.

g

Hi G and welcome. I'm sorry you find yourself here. You must be in shock. From your post, things sound quite reasonalble at the moment. I'm sure you are feeling a lot more than that. Please make sure you look after yourself and let your feelings out. You can rant on here or ask for support. We'll do our best to help.

In the coming weeks, you will probably feel like you are on a rollercoaster. Up one day, down the next, wondering what on earth you are doing, sure what you are doing is right - you get the idea. Try to go with the flow and deal with practical matters as they crop up. I'm glad your family and friends are being so supportive. That will be a great help to you.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are getting on. Take care, Bon

Hi, thanks for the welcomes.

The kids are both in regular contact with their mother. They are both away at Uni now; on balance I think my daughter has taken it better than my son, who had a big break-up with his girlfriend at almost the same time; it worries me a little that he now feels that relationships have to be like this.

As to how I feel: I was really quite calm about the whole thing at first, then after about a month I found myself getting increasingly angry about the whole thing (partly as I found out more about what had been going on). I've had two meetings with my ex: the first was really quite civilised, but the second ended up with me walking out. Is that common? Maybe it's a male thing?

The wife of my ex's new paramour hasn't taken this well at all. Her kids are younger than mine and still at home. I feel as bad for her as for me. I don't think my ex had a right to do that to another family, regardless of what she felt about me.

But I'm still trying to get my head around it all.

g