Just dipping my toe in...

Hello..I'm just getting used to the idea of being single after a long time married. There's been alot over a long time that's got me to this point of even thinking about seperating. To be honest it's scared the life out of me.

Hey Livvy,

Whats scared you the most?

E

Not so much being on my own with the kids. I think that I can sort that out okay financially and support wise. Though it will take a long time to get settled. I'm not naive there. But I worry about the hurt that will come about from it all. He's not really accepting it's coming to an end despite counselling and stuff.

Livvy you have to think of you...that the ex is not accepting...should not be your concern or made to be so...its hard enough.

E

Thanks. It is definately not the easy option that's for sure! But I guess there isn't one when it comes to this point.

Hi Livvy

I don't think there are any easy options when it comes to break down of a relationship but you will find lots of support on this site.

Speaking from the other side, currently I'm fighting to hold onto my marriage but not knowing more details it's a little hard comment. Some people take longer to accept things than others, some will fight for as long as they can if it means enough to them.

I guess much depends of the circumstances that brough you to this point and what kind of relationship you want to have with your ex after the dust settles.

I'm gonna disagree with Elle a little bit here (maybe it's the wine), ask yourself why he's not accepting it - might be because he's scared to - could be loads of reasons but it's worth the effort to talk about it.

Sorry kinda rambling abit, to much wine this evening then woke up and now can't sleep and still a little drunk

Hi Livvy

It maybe he's not accepting it because he didn't see it coming. My stbx thought he was happily married until the day I left, despite what he had put me through for years. Maybe yours was oblivious too and now realises what he may be losing.

Like Elle says, do what's right for you. Only you can make the decision and whatever you decide it's not going to be easy. Mike is right in saying if it's worth the effort to talk about it. Whatever happens you will have a better relationship if you can keep communicating civilly with each other. Sending you a hug!

Take care. Chrys x