help - i need advice please!

Hi,
I am new to this site and am hoping someone may have some advice for me. I have been married for 30 years. Last Boxing Day my husband told me he had been having an affair for 15 months. To cut a long story short, we tried to get over it, he gave her up, went back to her etc. until I finally gave in and filed for divorce. The problem is, he has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers (I knew he had a problem and as part of us trying to reconcile I made him go to the doctor). Because of this he can be totally unreasonable, flying off the handle etc. then the next day he is fine again. This is causing problems with trying to sort the financial settlement out as he is not co operating with filling in the forms and wants to fight it out in court which will use up what little money I have in legal fees. He has now agreed that we should try and sort the money out between us and has offered to pay me maintenance until I can get a job which will pay me enough to live on. I have only worked part time as he has his own business which I helped with, and he worked every hour so I did all the child care, ran the home etc. We had a good standard of living and I resent having to now be broke. I accept I have to move to a small house, our large house is on the market, but want enough money to live on and pay my bills. My question is, how do I word a document for him to sign agreeing the financial split? My solicitor won't advise me unless I fill in the dreaded form E and he does the same. I think I am happy to settle for what he is offering as I know if it goes to court, with his condition, it will be a nightmare. Also I need to sort this out quickly as at any time he can change his mind.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation and managed to sort things out? I would be really grateful to hear from anyone who can help. Don't even get me started on the emotional aspects of all this, or the mad things I have done this year trying to get a new life!

You need to sort out your finances and I'm unclear why form E is so dreaded? It's there to protect you both by making sure you're making decisions based on a full understanding of your financial positions.

I do know a little about Aspergers, so realise this can't be easy; however, the behaviour you are describing seems to be common in divorcing couples whether they have Aspergers or not... although that's not necessarily consolation but it does mean you will get sympathy here from many experiencing similar problems.