Left on my own

My wife of 34 years formed a close emotional relationship with another man 3 year ago she told me and it stopped before it had gone too far. But this august it started up when she found out he was ill.
I had 12 weeks of hell as she wanted to be with him but I new it was not right. She came to see it was not right to leave me for him,

But she met a nephew doing some work at his house who like to dance my wife has all ways wanted to dance (I have to left feet) he took her to a dance lesson and she has now not stop some weeks she can go 6 dances/lessons most are in the evening so she can be out from 6.00pm to late.

She has told me she had been unhappy in our marriage for some time and love to now dance with John the new dance partner is a widower of one year and will dance all the time to coup with his loss. 6 weeks late she what's a divorce so she can do her own thing.

I now I fine my self left on my own at night and week ends when she go out dancing plus she has now move out of our bedroom to the spar room.

This so hard and you must be feeling dreadfully alone. Sadly, it sounds as if your wife has wanted to end the marriage for some time. "winning" her back and moving on / feeling better about yourself have the same actions. You need to go out and do things yourself in the evenings. Women like men who are interesting and have things to talk about. Let her know that you have things going on in your life. If it doesn't make her interested then at least you will be building a new life for yourself and making new friends.

Hi, Kate is right.

It sounds as though your wife has wanted to end your marriage for some time and these flings are symptoms, not causes.

Don't wait around for your wife to come back to you. Start doing things for yourself. Then if your wife does want to come back you will be in a stronger place and if not, you will be in a stronger place.

Being in a stronger place will enable you to make better decisions for your future.

Don't stay at home being needy - your wife will only be confirmed in her decision to stay away.

It's tough I know, but we are all stronger than we think.

Keep posting here.

I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation. I would agree with Nell and WeeKate. She has probably been unhappy for sometime and you too need to get out and about, not to find someone new but to keep busy and meet new people this could be going on a course, amateur dramatics or voluntary work although I know it is hard when you free so bad. I found that doing new things and keeping busy really helped.

Take care

Hi there. I am new here too. This is how my husband and I started to grow apart. It seems to me that everything in our marriage that involved "doing something" was at my behest: having children, a social life, camping, any activity really. So I gave up and went out on my own. I begged him to come, then just begged him to do something he liked. He didn't have anything he liked to do, he would say. I gave up trying to provide opportunities.

Not saying this is your fault at all, or his, but we did grow apart and we are now separated. Maybe you have two left feet, but you have two feet in a marriage. Trying is just as important.

You need to live for yourself too.

JLF

hi all she left on 28th Dec 3 weeks now had a bad night last night she was seen in working mens club with new parter.