Hi!!!

Just joined after finding out my soul mate of the last 24 years ( married 17 years )has been having a secret relationship for the last 2 years with a younger woman he met through work. We have 2 little ones age 5 and 6 years. Things have been going wrong in our relationship for the last year as believe me a wife can see the signs of a 3rd party!!! He refused to be honest and wouldn't go to relationship counselling as there was nothing wrong! However after accusing me of being mad and imagining his infidelity I came across a ferry booking for the 2 of them to stay at our second home in France for 5 days. Even after being caught red handed he continued to lie to protect her in case her husband found out. 6 weeks on I've lost 2 stone, feeling stronger than I have for a long time and concentrating on putting me and the kids first. Tempting to send her husband proof of his wifes infidelity but I'm taking the upper hand and refusing to compromise my morals!! mediation to sort out the practical stuff starting New Years Eve. I'm sure I will need your support as have never cried so much in my life!!

hi scarlett,
sorry to hear this happened to you:(
especialy this time of year.
try to stay strong for you kids, and remember you have done nothing wrong.
my ex also tryed to tell me nothing was wrong, but you see the signs but block them out.
take care.
pete.

Protect yourself and your children foremost. Eat little and often, walk as much as you can and do little things that give you comfort, such as bubble baths etc.

Does your husband want to give it another go with you? If he does do you think you can get over this?

Take time, don't hurry things, but put yourself and your little ones first all the way.

Jo x

sorry to hear what you are going through. I must admit I was tempted to send the woman my stbx was seeing some home truths as she is also a married woman but in the end I think she is welcome to him and his violent temper. I would not have contacted her husband though as would not want to be the one involved in causing him that pain.

Be true to your self even though you are the injured party. concentrate on picking yourself up and moving on rather than riuning her marriage she is doing that all by herself.

Kudos to you for taking the high road.

I too have been tempted so many times - she's not married and she is now living with my husband - but, they've now been living together for a month so pretty soon, she'll learn those truths for herself, the hard way!

There have been times when I've wondered if taking the moral high ground does any good, but as time goes by and I continue to hold my head high, I know that it has done ME some good, and that's the important thing.

Hold your head high and take care of those precious children.

Thanks everyone! For me there is no going back especially after all the lies and putting her ahead of our children. I will be petitioning for divorce in the New Year as I will never forgive what I've been through in the last year! He thinks we can be friends but our beliefs and morals are now too far apart.