hello to all

Hi to all,

My story:
Was married for 17 years with 2 kids (now 16 and 14). in feb 07, found out my wife had been having an affair with a close friend of the family... spent sometime trying to win her back (really screwed my head up!!) and finally, after months of being given false hope only to be dropped from ever greater heights... got divorced in march 08.

Has been such a painfull experience emotionally for me... and have experienced (still do) so many different feelings about my past/future etc... came across this site and thought would be good to share some of my experience if can help others, whilst at the same time help myself to come to terms with the loss of someone I loved so very much.

Badger, welcome to wiki. I am sure you will find lots of help and support here and many, including myself, that have been through the same.

When the person we love betrayes and deceives us it is so hard to accept. When I found out my ex was having an affair the marriage was over, I never tried to fix things because I knew I would never feel the same again, he destroyed the trust which I feel is so important in any relationship.

I didn't find wiki until 12 months later but it has been a great help. I'm now divorced and trying to move on with my life. It takes time and is a continuing journey of highs and lows but slowly things become easier.

Poppie

I think I must be one of the lucky ones - I found this forum less than a month after I discovered my husband's affair.

My stbx gave me 'false hope' for a few short weeks, although when it comes right down to it, I kept forcing the issue rather than having the courage to just say 'get out, it's over'. I really thought we had a good marriage and that with some marriage counseling, we could possibly salvage things - he didn't agree.

It is difficult to get past the betrayal, the feelings of rejection and abandonment and even just missing being in a relationship, and scary to look at the future, but I'm working on dealing with it. This place has been a huge help.

Welcome, Badger, look forward to hearing more from you.

hi. thanks for your post.

what you say is so true... i have learned many lessons along the way over the past 2 years... do see light at the end of the tunnel... although for a long time couldnt.
when you have been with same person for so long, i think i lost who i was and my own identity. I think recovery is about rediscovering yourself again.

thanks for your kind works.

Hi and welcome, im pleased you can see some light now it must be a huge relief to you. Sorry i havnt got any more advice, just wanted to say hi.

Hi badger,

Just dropping off a hi. I was very sorry to hear of your story and can relate to losing someone that you loved.

I am only just starting down this road, as the missus has walked out, and the roller coaster of emotions is tough. It seems that it takes varying amounts of time for each of us to overcome the loss.

Hope to see you around a bit.