need a friendly ear

hi my situation is very unusual, ive been separated 8 years and still not divorced or had any settlement, the reason being we still work together in a business and we ve been ok with this even though people think im bonkers as hes in the house and i rent a property. our two children are 25 and 28 and in relationships of their own.ive had an off/on relationship with someone for quite a while though live on my own as dont feel like living with anyone right now. my x has had a few flings , nothing serious but hes seeing someone now who wants him to get things sorted asap, he tells me hes not 100% sure with this woman but dont quite believe him as think hes frightened of upsetting the applecart with our situation and he ll suddenly have to find the money to buy me out or sell the house and hes had it easy as the business has always paid the mortgage and i pay my own rent !im too soft i know but its easier to be on his good side than his bad.
im now thinking seriously of getting the ball rolling and going to see a solicitor but i dread what hes going to be like with me, have nt any family for support so that dosent help as nice to have someone to be
there for you and keep you up. expect a lot of you will be thinking get a backbone ha, but putting this down is a start for me and hopefully ill get stronger in myself.

I promise you no one will be thinking 'get a backbone'! There's lots of people here who'll help you with support, both emotional and practical. So good luck and keep posting!

thanks for that

Why do you need to start the ball rolling? If its his new partner that wants him to be divorced, then won't he start the proceedings himself and you just agree to them?

Will there be issues with the business and dividing the assets? If you have a good relationship now, you might be able to agree to an amicable settlement.

Hi ald9

I am also in a business with my husband and we are seeking divorce, a friend of mine who is a solicitor (but not in divorce) has suggested that we end our marrisge relationship wise but keep business as usual he says he knows a few people who have done this. That way we can both benefit without anyone being bought out. Is this possible in your case.

If the house he lives in is in joint names then you are entitled to at least half, in fact you probably are anyway, if there is enough equity why don't you sell so you can both buy a place each, neither of you would need a large place if children are grown up.

One thing I do know for sure is that if you argue over assets through solicitors it costs you both a lot of money, so you both lose out. Try and talk it over with him and come to an agreement you are both happy with or go to mediation. You've both already moved on into relationships with other people, you live separatly - you are just tied by business. Why should it change.

Hope things turn out ok for you
All the best

salina