Wonder what happened to the modern Man?

"This week I have been mostly surfing Divorce forums."

Thanks all for this. I do feel good enough to post a bit of humour.

All part of life's rollercoaster.

i know how you feel, mine did the same, the kids have stayed with me in the FMH, you are right it is like a prison, all the memories to please a selfish b***h. doing all the chores when she was tired ( more like lazy) 20 years of being a modern man, caring for her and the kids, working fulltime etc. thing that changed was i was being made redundant and i could not give the things that she had come to expect so she left for someone who could. ia m left with bad credit rating not being able to move house. she said it was her fault and not mine, she has asked me to forgive her when hell freezes over maybe i will and i hope all the pain and suffering she gets in her life are long and ardeous

Many is the time I gave myself a good talking to in this way.

I hope you are just letting off steam and in no way does it reflect how bitter your words come over.
(I can't believe I said that)

In the end you did the right thing and continue to do so.
This modern man thing is just another way of getting the Family at the core of just being human. At one time all that was expected of us in that part was to bring home the cash. It was a dangerous thing to do in the past and that was why we had to do that. The stories my Grandfather told me of pit life in no small way made me the modern man I became. But as I expect we all know he, like lots of others did it for the family, not himself.

I often reflect when feeling this angry that my part in the whole sorry story is that I am free of guilt. Being not at fault will gain your kids admiration and support in later life. Beware of letting your anger vent against your wife. If you do then you will regret it, no matter how sweet the revengeful side of us all makes us feel.
Hell I am sounding like a saint now, no I am like Alice in wonderland giving good advice that I am not following.
My vent of revenge is small but practical for me. I don't talk much to my wife now, never look at her face directly. Anything I can do to stop my mind thinking about her helps in chipping my way out of the dark cave of despair she let me fall down.

I know I will never be able to trust anyone again like I did my wife. That should make me a stronger person. But in no way though do I want my Daughter to think both her parents have turned into strange self centered adolescents. I will leave that for my wife to face.

Well said. Strangely enough my ex suffered clinical depression for many years and our daughter suffered glandular fever, then a post viral infection which left her incapacitated for a number of years and I cared for her. His contribution was to minimise CM payments by not declaring all his income ((sigh))

I think the nature of depression leaves some sufferers emotionally unavailable and they may appear very self interested. Anyway I'm posting to say there is light at the end of the tunnel, it's nine years since we separated and our daughter has been fine for a few years now and my hair not only stopped falling out but started to grow again.