Introducing myself

Hi
I have been living with partner for twelve years and we have two children together. He has now left for another woman who is a mother at my childrens school. I feel in a very vulnerable situation not least because I am now on my own with two children but also because I am not married to him. Luckily we jointly own our property but beyond that I can only get maintenance for the children and he is being very difficult about that. He has been totally against me working since we had our children but now expects me to go and work full time to support them. Despite his protests during our time together I have managed to work part time luckily as I feel I would be unemployable now if I hadn't . I am quite happy to work but feel it would be better for my children at this difficult time if I could continue part time until they move to senior school which will be in two years for my eldest child. My partner has alot of money so I feel he is in a position to do this for us to make a difficult time a little easier. However he doesn't agree.
I am concerned that I sound like a bitter and twisted woman which I don't want to get like.
I would welcome any comments from people on how they cope with divorce. The hardest thing for me is accepting that I have to share my children and that I am not going to see them every other weekend and that he will take them on holidays without me. He has already taken them to meet his girlfriend which was very difficult for them and they have since told him they don't want to see her at the moment. I thought I would die the day I realised he had taken them to meet her. I know this is dramatic and of course I am still here but it was one of the worst days of my life. How do you get used to the idea of not seeing your children every other weekend or missing out on one Christmas in two because these are all times that I will never get back.
Anyway I think that is enough moaning for one night. I would welcome any advise from anyone who has been through a similar situation

Hi Busy Lizzie
It is incredibly difficult to face the prospect of this alternative lifestyle and particularly when its not of your choosing. Being a lone parent means you need a bit of time to yourself so actually if yr ex sticks to a commitment to contact, you will find a way to use that time to care for yourself and be an even better parent. If you think its hard for you its even more confusing for children and all too often the parent who goes wants to oversimplify the situation so they can justify their actions. My advice is keep talking to yr kids all the time - allow them every opportunity to express their feelings without closing them down or hyping them up. When the moan about something the other parent has done - say 'well I think you need to tell him/her if thats how you feel'. My eldest still says she wishes we were back together and thats been 1.5yrs now. I dont get into whose fault it is I acknowledge thats how she feels but tell her I cant see that happening. When daddy does things she doesnt like or isnt available I tell her to tell him all the time I teach them skills to manage this difficult situation which I hope will stand them in good stead for life not just being with us. You never need fear another partner, children love the parents unconditionally and will always know who is mum and dad. Theres always room in a kids life for someone else to be nice to them and if they arent yr kids will soon tell you. Dont get pushed into working full time - you will have to find childcare which costs and right now yr kids need things to stay as same as possible in the areas that they can. Obviously his NP has an ex somewhere so hopefully she will have the good decency to remind him of his responsibilities to his first family although I sometimes despair of the level of understanding you find in these cases. Lets hope you are in luck. This is very early days for you so dont expect to know all the answers right now - try and keep what you can the same and dont be bullied. I dont think you are at risk of bitterness just yet - you sound like you are trying to be very fair and just want to look after yr kids. Good luck for now. Rasher