new to the forum

Greetings everyone,

My name is Ivan and i am in the process of divorce after about 27 years. Have FDR in about five weeks. I have 5 children (aged 26,24,22,20 and 16) the four youngest are still in the FMH. i am not sure what to expect on the day since my wife is not very predictable. I have tried to negotiate but she seems to think i am not entitled to anything since four of our children still live with her, (in spite of there ages) Anyone got experience of this sort of situation? 3 oldest living with mom are working and the youngest living with mom is still at school.

Hello Ivan (Denisovitch?)

Are you asking whether anyone on here has an unpredictable wife who thinks she is entitled to everything because the children live with her? Hmm, let me pause for reflection for a second ..... probably every father!

I can confirm that whatever your wife may say, you are indeed entitled to something. As parent with care for one minor your wife's housing needs are greater than yours, BUT you ought to have a place where your youngest could stay over when visiting you as is their right and is encouraged by the court.

Assuming that you have both supplied each other with sufficient financial information, what I hope will happen at the FDR for you is that the judge will look at the capital and income needs for you both, the joint financial pot and suggest what the likely outcome of an order at a final hearing may be.

This should give the two of you a range to aim for in negotiations, however your wife, like many unpredictable people may decide that the judge is a stuffy old fart who knows nothing of life (which might actually be true, one never knows) and that he can stick his judicial musings up his principal registry because she is either going to take everything you have or take her ball away and not join in this game.

The latter is a very real problem comrade and the only way round it is to issue a penal notice when she doesn't comply with directions and get her sent to the gulag. Something the courts are most reluctant to do against parents with care, but seeing as your youngest is 16 and adults live with him/her, you are in with a fighting chance if she thumbs her nose at the court procedure for too long.

Good luck!

I have no advice at all I'm afraid... but wanted to say hello from one new person to another and wish you well

Shez

Thanks Oldie,

i am sure you are right about wives who feel their x should have nothing, but i am sure there are husbands out their who feel their x should have nothing also.

My situation is that my wife and i split up about 3.5 years ago i tried to divorce on 2 years sep but she wouldn't sign papers, i then went for unreasonable behaviour so she decided that 2 years sep was acceptable.

She started proceedings for AR but is dragging her feet. I have a new partner with two fantastic children (10 & 12) we have bought a new house with 100% mortgage, that is (after 2 years on a fixed rate mortgage) killing us (£1300 per month)
we only have an income of £1900 per month.

The marital home is worth about £175000 with only £25,000 left on mortgage and my wife has £20,000 share in her mom's house.

My solicitor said i should get 1/2 the value of the marital home minus a percentage to take account of my 16 year old daughter.

Anyone have any feedback based on experience? don't mind good or bad feedback. It's best to hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

Hi shezi79,

Do you have a story to tell? that you want to tell?

I pay a fortune for legal advice and then come on here and ask for advice for free! i guess it's just knowing that we are not alone that helps.

Having said that, i feel great all the time. It's a choice we all make each time we get out of bed, am I going to have a good day or a bad day? and i always choose to have a fantastic day. Hope you do too.

Welcome to the forum.

Ivan