Trying so hard but its getting to me.

Leigh,

No one is saying it's easy. I was on the receiving end of some very erratic behaviour from my ex for years after we separated and by his own admission he's a very difficult man. However, mostly I worked round that putting myself out a great deal (and loosing large sums of money) because to do otherwise would have impacted upon the the children. That's just what responsible parents do.

It really is best if third parties don't become involved in the dispute as it just adds fuel to the fire. May be you and your partner should think of counselling for yourselves separately to help deal with the emotions.

Yes maybe your right it just really is hard. I work full time u c and if he brings them around because at the last minute she says he could have them on that day and not the day we had arranged I am then working which is fine except I get phone calls at my place of work from her shouting because I cant put myself out for her kids.

But hay he will have to just see what the judge says.

hi leigh

in another post you said how much contact he was getting at present, imo a judge is not going to offer much more than he is already getting , my ex was offered every other weekend which he was very happy with, i duno if's it's worth the aggro going through court when he see's the kids. My ex took me to court 3 times and each time he had her backing him up , to say we don't see eye to eye is an understatment, i feel things get worse when courts are involved and the losers are the kids.

O no those hours r fine. he is going to court because they keep changing and he doesnt know where he is from one minute to the next. He doesnt want to go to court but due to alot of problems hes been having and because she wont go to mediation his soliciter has said it needs to go to court.

Mind you last week she said he didnt see them enough and now shes changed her mind again. it is very difficult but I am sure it will get sorted:S

It's always going to be difficult with very young children because contact little and often seems to suit them best. Establishing clear boundaries would help. There is no reason why you need to communicate directly with this woman, just refuse. It's more difficult for your partner because the children are so young he will have to communicate, but he can keep this to minimum by using email and a notebook for things he needs to relay to his ex-partner when handing over the children. Although co-operative parenting post separation is an ideal to strive for I don't think that many divorced couples achieve it, or at least not all the time. See;

www.parentingafterdivorce.com/articles/parenting.html

Thanks for talking to me fiona it really is nice of you.

I know pass my phone over to my boyfriend when she calls and he answers. I also dont take her calls at work so that helps.

Don't get me wrong I know I have been on here about how hard my boyfriend gets it but I really do appriciate what single women go through I have seen it. My auntie was so brave through her devorce and god did she go through hell and all you single mums on here I have great respect for you and apriciate (god I wish I could spell he he he) your advice.
There has been so much going on that even her mum says she being unfair etc.

He spoke to his solicetor who has been trying to sort something but it hasnt worked. So it is going to go to court.

He doesnt want to but she has gone against advice of her solicetor and in her own words has said " I'm incharge of my kids not him he does as i say or nothing if I want him to have them for a day he has them if I decide he can have them for 2 he takes them its up to me".

But theres no arguing infront of the children and nothing is ever said.

I however will stay out of it and wont make a comment Fiona I promise.