Need to know where I stand

Hi

New to thie site, and in need of some advice. My wife and I have recently separated after 5 Yrs & 9Mths marrage. She has moved out the marital home and now lives in a flat she owns directly accross the street. She has confirmed that she split due to there being someone else involved although I am unsure how long it has been going on. We have two kids together (6 & 3). We are planning to share the kids 50/50 (7 days out of 14)however, the man she is now with is a bad lot although I cannot confirm any criminal conviction I am sure they are there and I do not want my children influenced or around him. Is there anything I can do to prevent him playing 50% in my kids life?

Hi,

This is a hard one, in the fact that you both have PR, and both hold this independent of the other, meaning that what you do with the children whilst they are in your care is down to you.

That said, you could get your solicitor if you have one to put your concerns in writing and see what sort of response you get. If you feel that strongly about it, then you could apply to the court for a defined contact order.

Some people would say that you should let it go, but only you know how you feel about the situation and how safe you feel your children are when around this man.

You need to ask yourself whether you are just angry at your wife for taking up with someone else or that there is a real issue as to the safety and well being of your children.

I think in your favour, the children are young and may not possibly be able to express how this man makes them feel and you therefore have to act as their advocate.

You need to make your wife aware of your concerns but be careful not to antagonise her as she may respond by withdrawing contact.

There is another post asking a very similar question to you, which I tried to find when I first read your post, will continue to search for it and will then post the link.

Take care and go with your gut instinct, it is usually right.

xx Sarah xx