Hello

Bet you can't guess why I joined this forum!
I don't know why I should start with a light hearted comment as I'm not too happy at the moment.

My wife wants us to seperate after 23 years and I am in a state of shock.
Sure things get a bit samey after that amount of time but I did not see this coming.
We have talked and currently I see no way of repairing the marriage.

My oldest children (16 years and up) are less stressed about this than my youngest son of 10 yesrs.

The look of total horror/confusion/loss and heartbreak on his face tore a hole in me so big you could drive a car through it.

I just don't know what to do!

Thanks for listening (if that's possible with your eyes?)

Welcome. I've only been here myself a day but I'm already finding it a great source of support.

HI soupdragon

Am sorry to hear about your situation. The shock is painful and all consuming. There is so much support advice and information to help you here. It really is a great place to help you and us all through a horrible, traumatic and emotional time.

Feel free to talk and talk. There are many people on here who are or have been in your position and can offer advice or just a virtual shoulder to lean on.

Take one step at a time and try not to panic bout 'knowing what to do' immediately. You are in shock and worried about your children and yourself, which is totally understandable.

Have you discussed some counselling? It may help.

Take care and look after yourself

I mentioned the subject of councilling which was greeted with the rebuttal "It's too late for that"

No matter how hard I try I cannot convince myself it's all over.

Am I deluding myself that I can recover from this?
Obviously no one can answer that, I'm just thinking out loud.

We've got it good comparatively speaking, it's just beyond mortal understanding why things have gone so bad for my wife.

I must be to blame, but other than heated words and some silences, for the past 20 years things have seemed good.
Once again, I can't see life through my wifes eyes so maybe she's just been suffering in silence.