Hello

Hi

I am Claudette and I have just joined this site. I just turned 30 and I have been separated from stbx since January. I filed for divorce which should be final in August/September.

We still live in the same house because I cannot afford to live on my own. It does make it harder, but I am trying to have some kind of life separate from him.

I do not have any family here in England. I am from Malta and came to England for him. My family are very supportive but they are still a long way away. I have hardly any friends over here either. ME and him led quite isolated lives.

I now do not know what to do...for the last 7 years he has been my life...now i am alone and i feel my future is a dark blob....leading nowhere....

thanks for hearing my rant

Claudette

Hi claudette - welcome to wikivorce. Sorry that you are in such a dark place just now, but it is early in the process for you - it won't always feel this bad, I promise!

There is plenty of support here for you, use it!

Take care

Pundit

Hi Claudette,

I'm sorry to hear the situation you're in, and I can totally relate. I moved from north america to Ireland to be with my stbx. Thankfully though I don't have to live with him!!

Do you have the option of going back home? Would you consider it? I want to move back to my family but am stuck here paying of debt in Euros, no point paying through the nose on exchange rates, so I'll be here another couple of years.

Do you get to visit your family at all?

Hello Claudette,

Welcome to wiki ! Your situation is very similar to mine : I also have no family in this country and have been living in the same house with stbx for the past 18 months while the divorce has been dragging on.

It is incredibly hard to make a new life for oneself after many years together. However, coming on to wiki and using the facilities is a great way of making friends - true, they are 'virtual' friends, but that does not take away from the fact that their support is genuine and the advice real.

If you feel like chatting and being distracted, the chatroom is a great place to come to.
Perhaps a holiday to go and see your family would do you good - it doesn't make the problems go away, but I have found that physical distance does help.

As for you feeling that the future is bleak, that is only natural and will get better with time. All of us on here have felt - and are still feeling -desperate on a regular basis. There is no easy solution to this, but being KIND TO YOURSELF and not beating yourself up about what has happened, the whys and the hows is a great place to start.

One day at a time.
That is the only way.
Take care
Red XX

Thanks for your posts.

I have just actually come back from visiting my family and it was great. It was also great that i felt i did not miss my stbx.

i do plan to go back to malta eventually, but part of me does not want to. i need to stay here for a while longer to be able to make some money.

its just i feel really alone especially since he seems to have starting moving on with his life - while i feel stuck.

i have tried the chat room, but to be honest it is a bit too busy...and i dont know always what to say.

thanks again for hearing me out

Claudette

Hi Claudette,

Don't be afraid - I am sure most of us wonder how we got here - but it is great to have support from people in similar positions - they don't seem scary for long (I think).

Dadsrus