Another first timer - Cyber sex casualty

Hi all and this looks to be the place for me to vent off my disappointment/anger/bewilderment as I never thought I would be in the position I'm in now so I am new to all of this.
I've been married to my wife for 20 years and have 3 lovely children (16, 17, & 20) and am about to get divorced.
Five years ago we joined an activity which involved looking for things with a GPS and thought it would be a nice family outing. The kids soon grew tired of it and the wife would reluctantly come along and also to some regional events to meet others but I enjoyed as it got me out and about finding places I never knew about. She would go to the chat room frequently and as I knew most it didn't bother me although I rarely went on. All was fine until last week I found an excplicet email she was sending to another man describing her cyber sex with another couple and looking forward to him gettng back which devastated me. Then I found another email where another man posted on her facebook thanking her for last night and asking for naughty pictures or videos. I found out while working offshore which also gave her the time for her activities and was just gutted. I could not wait until I got home and called her to confront her which she kept denying until I mentioned the names and dates. When I asked why she treaed me like crap at home then go ahead strip among other things in front of strangers on a web cam she immediately turned it around blaming me for treating her like crap.
We had no financial worries and there was no voilence ever in our relationship. Over the years we had grown apart but there was always something there and the week previously had booked a family holiday which she seemed happy to go on.
The end result is I will be seeing a soliciter when I get off as I want a divorce as soon as possible.I have told the kids who as expected were upset and asked the question of why? I did not want to tell them the truth just saying we had problems that we will not be able to resolve. One thing we do agree on is our children and I have talked to the since where they are getting used to the idea. What really gets me is everytime I tried to get intimate with her over the years she turned cold and ignored me then for her to go and do something like this. The other problem is the activity which I did enjoy with the GPS just doesn't feel right anymore although I did post a note on their forum briefly explaining my position and some have emailed me with their support.

Any advice on how to proceed as right now all I know is the children come first and I have to plan a new life ahead.

I have thoughts on this. But first, what is GPS? If you mean a SATNAV, I am not sure what events/clubs this can be used for? Could you elaborate? Presumably it is relevant to your story...

Andy

Hi Sir gless,

I can so empathise with you. My ex to be used the internet t trawl through porn sites. At first this was harmless enough but it soon progressed to illegal Sites (pre the uk laws changing) and from that on to cyber sex sites and prostitutes who specialise in BDSM.

Although I am fairly liberal and have no issue with others using such services I find myself in the position that I seriously object to it when it involved my ex and lies and impacted on our family life.

Like Buxtonman would love to know what GPS is Group Personal Services perhaps?

Without knowing what GPS is in this context, I think you have probably done the right thing. My wife started this way but it eventually progressed to the real thing. I endured 6 months of torture while all this progressed and I wish i had left her there and then. It was my children that stopped me. I admire your decisive action.

On the other hand, does she regret it and will she stop? Mine didn't do either! If she had, we would still be together.

Andy

GPS - Global Postioning Satellite hand held sat nav if you want. It doesn't really have any bearing on my story other than that is where she met, communicated and carried on with the people. And it was an activity I enjoyed and was quite active in it, if it was some other group I don't think I would of felt as bad but still the same result.
I suspect it may have led to the real thing but have no proof only what I mentioned.
Does she regret it? no not at least to me. She hasn't even said sorry.
Will she stop? probably not until she realizes how embarrassing it could be if anyone records and then puts out over the web or worse.
If she stopped would we be together still? NO I have thought about it and if there was anything she could do or say to change my mind and there wasn't.
Thnaks for reading it's nice to get off my chest.

Hi Sir Glees and welcome to wiki.
It's a place none of us thought we'd or wanted to be but also a place where you get help support and empathy.
So although I can't give you any answers I can wish you luck and support in this long and difficult journey.
Oh and by the way I have also done a bit of geocashing (is that the word) and it's a good way to get out and see the countryside. Hope you can continue to enjoy it.
Look after yourself.

Close but it's called geocaching I didn't want to say as I didn't know if anyone else knew what it was.
Yes it has brought me to some great places and have met some good people along the way.