when there is someone else involved

Thank you for the lovely messages I received from my previous post. The truth is out now I found out my husband has been sleeping with someone else. Hurt is not the word.

Its all so complicated now. Can anyone point me in the direction of how I sort out legal things (children, house, money etc)

If you have been through this how did you get through the initial hell? I dont feel like I'm doing a very good day of dealing with the shock right now.

Thankyou all so much x

So sorry for you but you have come to the right place for support .... we have all been in similar positions.

Post all your questions/worries/anxieties and someone will soon come along and offer wise and practical help.

My H left 8 weeks ago, and for the first 3 weeks, I felt like I was wading through treacle. Then I discovered this site and although the bad days still outweigh the good, the information I am discovering is giving me confidence. Knowledge is power!!!

The hurt and pain will take a very long time to go away but sorting your head out financially and practically goes someway to starting to regain control.

Take it an hour (or even a minute) at a time, dont rush anything or make hasty decisions .... just prepare yourself for the decisions you might need to make in the future.

Hi Ollie
So sorry to hear the position your in. I found out a few weeks after he left about his affair too. It seems they are to cowardly to own up to it.
My children are grown up so I don't have the same issues as you, but my advice would be to do nothing in the beginning and just get through it.
Don't look to far ahead and if he is paying bills and you have enough money to cope do just that.
When you start to get your thinking straight then you can start to plan, but for now love your children and look after yourself in the best way you can.
Big ((((((((((((hug))))))))))))) and good luck

I hope you're as OK as you can be olli. This is a very painful and difficult time, particualrly as things seem to be going from bad to worse for you. But all this will bottom out soon and then you have the prospect of being able to build your life back up again. Rely on family, friends and, of course, wiki as much as you can

Take care

thank you all for your kind words. I find it amazing people can take time to comfort someone else when they are going through hell too.

x

Friends and Family are truly great ... but only when youve been there yourself (or in my case - still there!), do you understand what its like.

Personally, I felt like I had been run over by a steamtrain ... from behind .... didnt see it coming!!

Give it time and reach out to anyone and everyone.

Hi Ollie,

So sorry to read your plight. I found out that my wife was having a 'special friendship' with a guy that she worked with. She would never call it an affair. It had been going on for over two years and during that time she put me and the kids through hell. She has finally left us (me and two kids) for this guy. The pain is unreal but I know time is a great healer. Take comfort in family and friends and also the folk on this site, Always remember this : IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! Don't take on the blame and don't let him off load his guilt on you.

Get legal advice as soon as you can. Try to keep it amicable but I realise, as I've found, that it's not easy.

Speaking to a solicitor made things much clearer for me and put my mind at rest.

Hold your head tall and remember that you are not the one at fault here no matter what your husband says to you.

We are always here for you.

Love and wishes,

Kenwood