Mom and Dad Divorcing

Hi Guys,

I need some advice on my Dad Divorcing my Mom.

They were married 40 years and 2 years ago my Dad met another women on the internet. Subsequently, he left my mom and as been living in scotland in a new house for 2 years with this women.

Now Dad is asking for a Divorce and wanting the assests to be divided from their property, Mom and Dad also have a joint credit card which Dad as used to accumlate £7,500.00 worth of debit by travelling. I did advise Mom to put a stop on the card, but as Mom was convinced Dad would come back Mom did not listen to advice. Dad wants to right off this debit agains their property.

Only thing is Mom now 63 and if she sells the house she will struggle to buy anywhere else under the current market. Our local council have not been forth coming in helping with possible other residences, and renting privately, would mean Mom would struggle to feed and heat her house as she is now on state benefits and as no private pension and state pension does not kick in until she is 65.

As my Dad lives in scotland he wants to Divorce under scottish law, and as mom and the property is in england we have advised mom to seek legal advise. Mom can not afford much so we went to the CAB who advise us to contact a Scottish Law Company.

This is too expensive, and Mom nor we can help her financial. Have spoken to Dad and stated if he wants a Divorce he will have to foot the bill, Dad in his best possible way told me to "p-off".

I have now advised Mom to ignore any solicitors letters and force Dad to act in English Law and have told Mom do not give consent to the divorce, on grounds that she is elderly and Divorcing would leave her financial Destitute.

Can any one advise if this was the right thing to do or am I causing more trouble for Mom.

With Regards:dry:

hi strapped..

im sorry i cannot offer any advice as i dont know legal system well enough..

however im sure others will be able to share their knowledge with you..

i hope your ok going through all of this, it seems like you've taken on alot dealing with not just your own feelings but your mums aswell..

dont forget to look out for you aswell ok, its hard on the kids....(ok you might not be one anymore but you know what I mean - you do have your own feelings)

take care
amanda
x

Strappedforcash,

Welcome to Wiki, you have come to the right place. Do ask as many questions as you need to ..

There are a number of points about what you have said:

1: If your mom does not want to consent to divorce she does not have to - she can make him wait until they have been separated for 5 years before he can divorce her without consent.

2: When assets are split up - and I think this is the same in Scotland - the courts would always look at needs. Your Dad has his housing needs met. If the house where your Mom is living is suitable for her needs then it would seem to be daft for her to sell it. There are things like Martin Orders - where your Dad retains an interest in the house during your Mom's lifetime - which can be used to "give" him a share of the property without your Mom having to sell.

3. You mention pensions - does our Dad have an occupational or private pension? Your mom would be entitled to a share of that.

4. The credit card debts - if these have all been accrued since your parents separated then I find it hard to understand how they could be counted as joint debts. Do you have credit card statements or can you get copies to prove what the money was spent on. If the card has not been frozen, it should be straight away.

I am not sure of the various merits re English and Scottish Law ... I am sure someone who does know the answers will be by soon ..

In the meantime have a good read of various threads on here to arm yourself with more information about how the finances are divided etc .. and as I said, come back and ask questions. You may want to look into legal aid - and possibly get your mom to go to the CAB for a benefits check to make sure she is getting all she should.

You may not be able to support your mom financially, but the support you ARE giving is worth more than cash ...

Hadenoughnow

Hi Guys,

Thanks for a valuable information and your kind comments. I will be doing research on the Items suggested.

Thanks again

strappy:)

Does this help:
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-514862/...e-cheaper-there.html

Good on yer for helping your mom despite having your advice ignored and for trying to keep your dad talking - I'm sure you're right about pushing for an English divorce - there is a defence in English divorce law against a divorce that causes undue hardship - not sure about Scotland - the person really well equipped to help - Fiona - seems to have been banished?
What happened to Fiona?

Hi there

If your mum wants this to be considered under the English legal system rather than the Scottish, she has to act quickly. The cheapest way for her to stop in his tracks is to file an adultery or unreasonable behaviour petition here, because once the petition is filed any petition he then files elsewhere will be stayed and dismissed. She can make a claim in her petition that he pays the costs.

It is my understanding that Scottish law is not as generous in terms of settlements, however, I am not an expert in Scottish law. One thing I can say is that the credit card debt is highly likely to be declared his here, and the court would not see her struggle unduly.

If you are going to go down this route, you can download a petition on here or on the net. It is a fairly straight forward document, and once it is sent to court your mum has then got juridiction so he cannot go down the Scottish route. However, the reverse is also true in that if he files first Scotland then has jurisdiction. She can try to fight it to have it moved, but that is very expensive.

You could also arrange a free half hour phone app with an English lawyer and a Scottish lawyer to ascertain if it is best for her to file here.

Amanda

Fiona withdrew herself from the site as she was extremely unhappy at the link with commercial divorce services. She made her position clear on the relevant thread. At the time she said she would continue to support people through personal mesaage but I am not sure that she is still doing so. She is much missed by many....

Sadie