Rights re:pensions

Hi, I separated from my ex 4.5 years ago, and our divorce was finalised in Nov 2005. I've never recieved any divorce papers at all, and even when i asked for copies from my Ex, these werent forthcoming. Recently my ex contacted the CSA with the intention of extracting more maintenence from me, even though i was paying, she wanted more. I had explained to her that i was paying what i could afford, she felt the need to take more. I should point out that she has custody of my daughter, and earns approx £10k p.a. more than me and recieves child benefit payments. The CSA have done an exempliary job, and have taken £300 from my wages this month, and are going to do the same next month. These payments are crippling me, and i am on the verge of losing my flat but my ex refuses to talk to me, saying (through my daughter) that it is in the hands of the CSA now.
My question is: I know she has a sizeable pension form over 20 years in the NHS, am i entitled to any of this, as we were married for 12.5 years?
I am not really interested in taking this route, but only as a means of bringing her to the bargaining table, and would only follow this course as a totally final resort.

On dividing up the assets on divorce her pension would go into the pot to be shared but whether you would get a share of it would depend on how dividing it would affect the overall financial agreement between you.
You can only get rights to a share of her pension by a pension sharing Order and only courts can issue those.
Only a court has the power to make the pension scheme assign part of her pension to you - even if she wants to.The pension scheme can't do it without a court order.
You can only get a Pension Sharing Order after the Decree Nisi/interim stage of divorce and the pension can only be split and part of it assigned to you once you've reached the final stage of Decree Absolute - marriage dissolved.

Thanx for reply, but does that mean i can or cant take steps to claim some of her pension? Or does it mean that i have to get evidence of the Decree Absolute, before i can really do anything? As i said I dont really want to do it, just cant think of any other way to get her to talk to me.
(Sorry for appearing a bit thick!lol)

Steve,

I am very confused by the idea you could be divorced but have no paperwork .. have you checked with the court to see if there has been a decree absolute? Did you have a decree nisi?

And what has been sorted out between you re Finances ... apart from the CSA payments?? Did you agree a division of assets?? Or did you walk away with nothing? Perhaps you could explain a bit more ??? Then we may be able to help ..

Hadenoughnow

Sorry Steve - I completely overlooked the fact that you said you're already divorced. As hadenoughnow says - we need more information.
Did you have any contact from a court or your ex's solicitor about your divorce?

From the Directgov website : to confirm Decree Absolute?

You can get a copy of your divorce papers from the court where the divorce was processed.

Alternatively, contact the Decree Absolute Service.

*
Contact
National Divorce Records
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Address
First Avenue House
42-49 High Holborn,
London
WC1V 6NP
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Phone
020 7947 6051

Sorry, No, didnt get any paperwork back from courts or solicitors, , just got a message from Ex saying decree absolute had come through and we were legally divorced. we had agreed the details after separation, and as far as we were both concerned the actual divorce was just a formality. We were still amicable at that point. I suppose i've been Naive to think it could all just be that simple, and that would be the end of it,
Thanx for replying, u guys are a real find!