Stress and depression

Hi,

I am new here.
I am feeling very stressed and vulnerable at the moment so I though it would be good to write here.
My relationship lasted for 3 years and 2 months. We were married for 2 years and 2 months. Our relationship was always under stress because I was always under pressureto pull up with my husband's demands and instable mood.
I started to attend therapy after a very bad period in our relationship last year and it was suggested that I should be more assertive to minimize my anxiety and stress levels. Since than, things just got worse. My husband and I had a lot of hot discussions and it end up with him asking for divorce.
It is difficult to draw a fair picture of the situation but I will try explain it bellow.
In the beginning of this year, besides the stress of our relationship out of balance, my husband decided to remortage the house and do a full renovation on it. Well, to be honested he also wanted to use the remortagage money to pay his infinity debits.
I didn't want to do the remortgage because I thought it was not time to do it. But as usual I was pushed to it. My husband was always instable.
He always had grandious ideas that come as fast as it goes and I always ended up accepting them to keep him happy and avoid problems.
This renovation, which was meant to be the new start, was the end of everything.
We were under a lot of stress in our jobs, we just had decided to give our relationship another go and we were under a lot of stress in our personal lives. And the stupid renovation just added more and more problems. Firstly, we had to live wih my in laws. Secondly, my husband decided to employ his cousin to do manage the project (P.s.: his cousin is a joiner and never coordenated a building site before).
This stupid idea ended up with my husband having a breakdown and being diagnosted depressed.
As he is not well he spended months blaiming me for everything wrong in his life.
He was very defensive and anything I said or did was taking as blackmail, harrassment, bullying and threats. He refused to get profissional help and the situation carried on like this for 2 months.
At start of this month, after one of our hot discussions he entered with a divorced petition based on my unreasonable behaviour ( a pack of rubbish).
I said to him he was being emotional, bagged him to be realistic and be fair with me, but, as defensive as he has been, this has be taken as harrassment.
After few days feeling guilty because I didn't realised how unwell he was and trying to get through him and bring him to his senses, I gave up.
I was exausted, I had lost 16 stones and I was feeling as I was the most worthless person in the world. I told him he could have his divorce but for we do it in a nice way as adults. Than, things got worse.
Since than, he been putting me through all sorts of mental manipulation and pressure.
I feel depressed myself now. I don't know what to do. Everytime I accept his demands he gets more nasty. Everytime I stand up to him the same happen.
I can't leave with it anymore.
He is destroying my life.
No one can get through him.
What did I do to deserve it?
how can I get out of this situation? I feel so hopeless.

You are having a very hard time here. Why dont you come into the chat and discuss this. We are all a good bunch of people who will listen and give you some advice and hopefully make you feel a bit better. He sounds like a complete control freak. You are worth more this.

Maybe you should also get some legal advice advice

Big hugs

Saff

Hi As Saff says, go into chat, it may help, lots of people with some kind of experience, however, dont let him blame you, some men turn the blame round and make sure you feel guilty for things you havnt done. It gets rid of their guilt. But keep the peace if it is for your own safety, thats more important right now.

Take care Joy