introduction to me

Hi everyone
have posted on the site for a while now but thought I should introduce myself properly.
I am 48yrs old and have been married for 25yrs but am now just starting a divorce, kids grown up.
I spent most of my married life with someone who was a control freak and when I look back on it all wonder why did I do it, why did I let that person take my soul because really I was just a body with no thoughts, opinions or feelings because it wasn't allowed.
I know there are many people on this site who have gone through this too, who walked on eggshells, hated the key in the door but because you are not a person as such you stay and carry on.
3 years ago I felt unwell, not unusual I felt drained and had to fight to get through each day anyway.
I went to my gp who sent me for tests, it was like a bullet when I was diagnosed with cancer.
But you know the saying "a good thing comes out of a bad thing"
Well following treatment I am now in remission, but being faced with thoughts of am I going to die somehow gave me the strength not only to fight the cancer but also to think I am being given a second chance I am not going to blow this one I can get rid of the ex(not literally if you know what I mean !!)
And so I did, I stood up to him and saw a solicitor and started proceedings, I know there is along way to go but I am happy and have now got my spirit back, yes I have health problems, am broke and cannot work and hate being reliant on benefits but I am a person now not just the empty shell I was , just wish I could behave as though I was 21 again !
who knows? there's life in the old dog yet.
So to everyone just think you can get through all your problems one way or another
regards
froo

Hi Froo

I just wanted to say well done when i read your post-so WELL
DONE.
Some of your story is similar to mine, walking on egg shells etc.My ex left me for someone else after being together for over 24 yrs, although I'm still hurting, reading through these posts especially yours make you realise you've got to make the most of things and look forward to a brighter future.This is a new beginning for us all and hopefully alot happier one where we are in control.
Good luck and keep up the fight

Hi Froo

Yea, good for you girl, i have read some bad stories on here and unfortunatly some people cant seem to pick themselves up for some time, not their fault, but sometimes something gives us that 'hang on a minute' NO MORE! and off we go again, in cases of abuse of what ever sort, we are programmed to be the way we are, like it was always my fault, he had affairs!!!
So as jenny says well done, and after having a cracking laugh at the thread, things we miss, after 25yrs girl, you must have plenty to add to the list, if you havnt already,

So good luck, stay strong

Joy xx

Hi! Your story sounds soooo familier to me. I hope that everything works out for you, as I am sure that it will. What you are doing has taken so much courage, you should be very proud of yourself.

It is big life changing events that define us for who we really are, and make us realise that we have to be true to ourselves.

I wish you all the sucess in the world. XX

Hi Froofroo,
Just wanted to say well done for being so strong. I have only recently realised that my husband is a control freak - we've had problems for a year and I'm only just thinking about separating from him now, I suppose I still lack the courage to make the break, even though I know it would be for the best.

I know too well the feeling of walking on eggshells. Just now he phoned me, I asked him a simple question about groceries and he told me to shut up, stop going on all the time, & put the phone down! I couldn't be more reasonable or laid back if I tried, he's the one with a big problem. Shame it's taken me 11 years to realise that it's not all my fault.
All the best for your new life.