Advice would be nice

Hi everyone. Have just started to think about divorce although to be totally honest should have done so a lot sooner. We have two boys and I have an expensive hobby in that I have horses (which husband hate with avengence).

My main worries are what will happen to house etc as it's in joint names as is the mortgage. I am the main bread winner and although hubby is the house husband he does the odd job here and there. Not sure if that's to help make ends meet or for his own sanity. So the point I want to make is that, the house was bought using monies from my inheritance from my parents and he hasnt put any monies in at all. Oh he'd argue that because he's the house husband he's saving us money on childcare!! But the thing is that both children are able to look after themselves now, one is 16yrs and one is 11yrs!! Money is tight as we are only running on the one salary, some tax credits and child benefit. He seems to think we should survive on that but he just doesnt see the full picture.

Ok so there is the shopping, which I do at the weekend, car insurance, life insurance, house insurance, horse insurance, horse livery, community charge, water, elect, gas oh hell need I go on.

The house has been valued at £235,000 and in fact we have put it on the market (he was against this at first) and we have a mortgage of £115,000

I can afford to keep the mortgage going in my own right, but am sure it's wiser to downsize and take out a smaller one. He's sitting back saying that the bank should repossess the house so that I know what it's like to have nothing.

We don't take time to sit and discuss anything at all, including the finances as it always ends in an argument and us not achieving anything positive. He drinks, and secretively as well during the day, although he doesnt know I know this part.

I've got an appointment with the Mortgage Advisor tomorrow (Tuesday) which he knows about but says he's too busy to attend. Therefore, could I take the opportunity of asking her to sort a new mortgage in my name only which may give me a bit more clout when it comes to us parting. Or is that going to make matters worse for me in the long term.

So all offers of advice will be gratefully received.

PS: Both boys want him to leave by the way as they don't like the way he treats us all. He has been violent towards me in the past but went to anger management to learn to control it. Now it's not physical but can be verbal!!!

Hi and welcome. Start with inheritances. Im afraid these are in the pot as I found out to my cost. Mortgage. good that you are finding out your position. Keeping mortgage company in the dark affects credit in future. Main Breadwinner. depends on your age but if reasonably long marriage its 50/50 im afraid. Watch your pensions to. Also depends on your ages as Maintainance rears its ugly head. Courts prfer Clean Breaks so your expensive hobby might have to go on hold.
Others will add to this but read all the posts on this site to find your position before you do anything. Good luck. Polar