Hello all

Well I hope this will be cathartic writing this as god knows I need it.

My wife of 24 years told me on Sunday that she wanted a divorce and for me to move out there and then. I didnt and am sleeping (poorly) on the sofa. I dont partiularly want to more out as doing so would give her the weapon of desertion over me.

We have 4 children. The eldest 23 is at home after finishing university, the next (20) is also at uni on summer break living with his girlfriend.
The younget two are still at home they are aged 16 and 14.

Really I dont know what to do for the best. We had an incident 2 years ago where I pushed her over onto the floor After this I was on anti-deppresants for a while and contemplated suicide. Since then we have tried to rebuild our relationship, obviously this has failed.

I've spent 2 days scouring the internet for information and basically it seems I'm screwed as she hasnt worked for 24 years, is older than me and we still have 2 children. The online calculater didnt help my mental state as it works out the she'd get 90% of our combined assets and I'd have to pay 1/3 of my salery in maintenance.

So next year (my 48th) it looks like I'll moving backing with mother and I am reallty, really p*ssed off at the moment.

Thanks for reading, advice most welcome

Hi Will
You sound very resigned to the whole idea of divorce.
You are already mentally geared towards costs and life after divorce so I am very confident you will be fine very soon. Its normal that you fear the next changes, the whole ppint now is the accept what are her financial rights and not waste money and energy on something which cant be changed (or only minimal).
You dont have to move in with mum, I am renting as well and I would dread the idea of giving up my independance despite the fact that my parents have a huge house and I live quite cramped. Look out for shared accomondation, or plant a personal ad and find 3 other men in similar circumstances and move in together.
Read here, get some ideas, pick up some tipps and ask if you have any questions