Divorce and Multiple Sclerosis

Cabbage, my purpose in highlighting your post was not one of trophy gathering at all. Far from it.

Wikivorce has grown into a hugely diverse community of people from all kinds of backgrounds, ethnic groups and religious persuasions.

That diversity has given many of us an insight into areas of divorce that had never even entered into our heads, through our own experiences.

It is amazing how new users come to the site and manage to dig up old posts from many months ago that relate to their own particular circumstances and find a great deal of comfort and support in knowing that they are not alone in their circumstances.

I know when I first found the site , I was absolutely astounded that there were people who had the same kind of feelings that I had and there were people who could tell me that I would start to feel better. There were also people who had endured far, far worse circumstances than my own, making me realise that my own situation, whilst personally horrific, was not nearly as awful as many. It has been an immense comfort to me.

Your own situation, as you point out, is not uncommon amongst other people with your condition, but it is the first time I have seen anyone post here about it.

My thoughts are for the next person, or their spouse, in similar circumstances, who arrives at Wikivorce as a new user. The comfort and benefit that your experience could bring to them, knowing that they are not alone in this horrible mess, would be tremendous.

To pick up on the thrust of your main point, yes Divorce is a horribly confrontational process, fuelled to exploding point by the legal profession, as a 'nice little earner'. There needs to be a radical re-think about how the process is managed and perhaps more structure or prescriptive formulas set as to how settlements are fairly arrived at. 'Different Judge, Different Day = Different Result'. How can that be a fair solution?

I don't pretend to know the answers, but would happily join you in the debate.

Mike

Cabage was causing a real stink so now I'm known as amos.

If anyone has a similar experiences who feel that causes for divorce maybe rooted in critial illness/disability I would be interested in hearing from you. Maybe it may allow you to reconcile a few feelings and thoughts.

regards

Amos

Hi Amos,
I certainly feel that my illness sped up the break up of our marriage. I have SLE, another autoimmune disease. Whenmy ex went to the hospital with me and read a few medical histories, I could see he was shocked. That was it, he did not go with me ever again. I know it scares him. He is very weak and was always bothered about getting old or dying etc. My SLE has fortunately been mild so far and I strongly believe that once I get over the divorce, my health will improve, as the levels of stress and emotional distress will go down (hopefully).
My good friend has MS as well and also seems to be able to control it well with vegetarian diet and lots of rest. She has been diagnosed 15 years ago and the prognosis so far is very good. The doctors believe she should be able to work until normal retirement age.