keeping the anger in !

Keep the anger in. It subsides over time. Doesn't mean you have to accept the situation but dont blow. If you have to blow at very last minute when they are least expecting it. My ex wants to remain 'friends'. HA HA HA HA HA Im not going to give her the satisfaction.

Thanks for your thoughts, it's nice that people take the time to respond to your feelings.

I totally agree that fairness is the key, however our ideas of fairness may be poles apart! At the moment he is 'saying' fair things, but I do worry that when reality kicks in he will change his mind.

I'm afraid I cannot (at the moment) move on from how he got me in this situation..... how's this for fair. He 'acquired' £3000 by his criminal activity (!), not a bean left so the money that had to be repaid to Court has been paid out of joint savings (it was that or my daughter seeing her father carted back to prison), yet this money will not be offset against his fair share......... yes I do really appreciate that money isn't everything, but ot sticks in the throat when when you see your earnings being squandered!

Anyhow life goes on, and again thanks for kind words of support.

Thanks Polar

I do feel a bit mean beacuse my anger is about 'sharing', I almost feel like the child in the playground being told that she has to give something to a child that is only naughty behind everyone elses back and therefore doesn't deserve 'nice things'!

At the moment, we are, if you like, friendly, indeed he is expected round for dinner soon so that he can spend time with daughter while I visit mum in hospital. I like to think that we can be adult about everything, it's just when the chips are down he may change his mind.

Anyhow better get back to creating my gourmet offering:laugh: .

You take care.

Good Fanny. If you can keep it in and be civil so much the better but it hurts. Let it out when nobody is looking. Hey nobody on here is an expert !!! They are experts in their own situation but not overall as every situation is different. The one pint I might make is that civility soon returns to a bitter punch up if you are not carefull. I think that it is often the other sides solicitor and friends who stir things up rather than the couple themselves. Take care. Dont do to much gourmet cooking !!!

Polar, you have EXACTLY hit on my worry!
Husbands new 'social network' is largely made of of jack the lads, and his best friend is so tight it makes a ducks a**e look like a leaky valve.... i can just imagine the advice he is taking there!!!!
Oh well, I am just going to keep telling myself (until /if proved wrong) that his love for his daughter will override any desire to take me to the cleaners.
Back to kitchen.... I just HATE cooking!!!!! Love the man that invented tins though

Yes half truths cause peril. Thats what I found. Good friends of ours advised her to 'screw me into the ground' . Friends who allegidly supported made suggestions of their own and then emailed their..not my suggestins..to her and she kicked off.A word of warning though. Civility an exist but once the legal process has begun you will be under scrutiny. Make notes/times/dates etc. The civility could be a cover for allowing you to be checked on. My ex 'broke into our house...legally as she still owned half...and cleaned every bit of info off my computer relevant to her 'case' Pity I had changed figures etc !!! I do think you are brave even allowing him into your house. Dont get me wrong but I bet he checks details of things to build up his case.

Thanks again, at the moment i am having to trust although i would point out that he has no key and normally i would be here at all times when he is visiting. Today is an exception because i need to see my mum who has been in hospital since wednesday last, and my sister is undergoing Chemo so can't get to see her....... everything comes at once as they say.