My wife & Kids

My wife of ten years has just turned 40 (July). My problems started last Christmas, she started to lose weight spend vast amounts of money on new cloths, underware and makeup, she always said that she did not want to become 40, but I thought all would be ok after her birthday, how wrong was I. She no longer wants to live with me, demanding a quickie divorce and cash all the time.She just keeps saying she needs space.
We had a joint account that I have frozen due to the ever increasing overdraft (was this the right legal thing to do?) I pay all the bill, shopping and buy all the stuff for the kids. she tells me that I have no right to control the cash.
I love my wife and Kids, I have begged my wife to see someone to try and repair our marriage and keep the family together, but what ever I do she hates me for it.
I just don't no what to do, I don't want to lose everthing because I feel my wife may need help.
Sorry to go on, but I will do anything to try to fix it.
I hope you welcome me into Wikivorce. No1

No 1

Welcome to Wiki and I'm sorry for the problems you are going through.

If you could provide more information, the posters on here may be able to help you.

How many kids do you have?

How old are they?

Do you work and approx how much do you earn?

Does your wife work and how much does she earn?

Who is the main carer of the children?

Has you wife been spending more time out of the house than usual?

Does she always have her mobile phone with her?

Post the above info and I'm sure you will get some answers

Mon

Hi No1,

Welcome to Wiki.

I am afraid I cannot give you any advice, except in the most general terms.

Do you think your wife is going to a form of mid-life crisis ?
Do you think that she is seeing someone else ?
Do you think she would be willing to go and see a counsellor ? Alone or the two of you ?
Does she confide in a relative/friend whom you could approach and explain that you are at your wits' end ?

You probably feel completely powerless and want to 'fix it' as you said.
A very wise member on this board (himself a man !) once remarked that this is a very male trait.
Men tend to approach a 'broken' marriage rather in the way they would approach a broken down hoover. Where can I get the spare parts from ? If I plug it in again, surely it will work.
Personal relationships are rather different : perhaps there are no more spare parts for the relationship 'hoover' and maybe it is no use plugging it in any more as it is knackered.

There is of course also this : it takes two to make a marriage work.

I understand your confusion and can only suggest that you do whatever you feel is necessary to have a relationship once more.
That is all anyone can do.

I wish you fortitude

Red XX

Hi No1,

Welcome to Wiki.

I am afraid I cannot give you any advice, except in the most general terms.

Do you think your wife is going to a form of mid-life crisis ?
Do you think that she is seeing someone else ?
Do you think she would be willing to go and see a counsellor ? Alone or the two of you ?
Does she confide in a relative/friend whom you could approach and explain that you are at your wits' end ?

You probably feel completely powerless and want to 'fix it' as you said.
A very wise member on this board (himself a man !) once remarked that this is a very male trait.
Men tend to approach a 'broken' marriage rather in the way they would approach a broken down hoover. Where can I get the spare parts from ? If I plug it in again, surely it will work.
Personal relationships are rather different : perhaps there are no more spare parts for the relationship 'hoover' and maybe it is no use plugging it in any more as it is knackered.

There is of course also this : it takes two to make a marriage work.

I understand your confusion and can only suggest that you do whatever you feel is necessary to have a relationship once more.
That is all anyone can do.

I wish you fortitude

Red XX

Thank you for your advice.

How many kids do you have? TWO

How old are they? 4 - 8

Do you work and approx how much do you earn? YES i WORK /37k

Does your wife work and how much does she earn?YES 2K

Who is the main carer of the children? WIFE

Has you wife been spending more time out of the house than usual? YES

Does she always have her mobile phone with her? YES.

I can see that there is a pattern, I don't feel she has been seeing someone, but since she has told me that she wants a divorce things are strange to say the least.

I came home from work, she wanted to go out without preparing any meals for the children.

I thought that she may have been going through a mid life crissis, but I think it is past that.

She telling me that we have to sell the house so she could rent somewhere with the proceeds and keeps telling me that I will only see the children once a fortnight.

It almost sounds as if she has the controler to my life.

What I have to do is wait for her solicitor to contact me to give me some kind of direction.

One thing I would like to ask is, my wife keeps demanding cash, I pay all the bill, do the food shopping and cook 50% of the evening meals, she earns over £250.00 per month, but does not contribute to anything.

welcome to wiki,
sorry that you are going through this,unfortunately it takes to make a marriage work.You are right to protect the financial side as she is a bit of a LOOSE CANNON at the moment.Most probably she should move out in a rented place for awhile and see how she enjoys it.You are doing nothing wrong so do not worry she will not be able to restrict you seeing your children that much to be honest most probably you will end up with them most of the time as she will want to go out.Just put the children first.Sad but her reason is good enough for her

Thank you for the reassurance, she is making all sorts of points that I can't take the children away, she has removed their passports, which I find odd as i did not plan on taking them abroad. Its like world war three at the moment, which I am so stressed about in relation to the children. I cant leave the house because I am worried on what effect this might have on me when she divorces me. I want to keep the family home so if the children want to come and stay, they will be happy.

Many Thanks