Wife cheats but gets everything!?!

How does that work

btodd now b3nc,

Welcome to Wikivorce. Home of the shafted. But for many different reasons and in many different circumstances. You have just learned the first and nastiest lesson in the world of divorce. It is 'no blame'.

Right or wrong, that is how it is.

The second lesson that you need to learn is that your son is the single most important thing in all of this. Everything you do and every reaction you have with your wife will have an impact on him.

Hard as it is, you need to bite your lip until it bleeds, count to several million and hold your head high.

You have the high moral ground, and you need to keep it that way.

There are many factors involved in dealing with the financial side of divorce, and it may not be quite as bleak a picture as your solicitor has painted.

You are 35 years old. You are young enough to rebuild your life. Imagine dealing with this finanical situation as you approached retirement as many here have to? 60+ and suddenly losing your home, savings and pension that you have worked so hard for?

Don't get me wrong, your wife's behaviour is completely unacceptable, but what I am saying is be very careful in how you react and behave in order to maintain the best possible relationship with and life for your son.

Always have him at the forefront of your thinking and think about the impact your actions may have on him, or your relationship with him.

You are angry, livid, spitting feathers, but stop. Think. What is MOST important in all of this?

Wikivorce is a fabulous place to meet people who understand that anger and frustration and hurt that you are feeling. People here have been there and done it. Talk to them. Understnad how they handled it. Learn from their experiences. Keep as many doors open as you can.

Really sorry you found yourself here, but glad you will find the support and help you will need to get you through this time. Best of luck.

Mike

Hi B3nc

You havent put much information in your question, i know your feeling bad as i am in the same position (stbx ran off with over 30k of my money). Please write and explain because not all women cheat men do too!

Please rant it will make you feel better!

Take care

Hi Bn
Tell you how it works, that is the law. Unfortunately it stinks as far as I am concerned.
I can comment on this from both sides, my ex left, we got divorced and I was left with nothing much to sing about.
He cheated and totally commanded the situation, this was 10 years ago.
Now I am with a man, his circumstances, his exW walked out, left him with two children, paid nothing AT ALL towards anything, now she, five years later, is still trying to call the shots and make life difficult. She will not be left empty handed. She cheated and will walk away OK.
My thoughts on this -
Perhaps we should endeavour to change the marriage vows to accommodate.
Issue the marriage certificate with 'terms and conditions'
just as you receive with any other contract we enter into, you break the contract you will incur penalties. The 'no fault' issue, why?
Perhaps, and I would be interested to know more, this was put into place to make divorce a more smooth proceedure?????
Children are the main factor in any divorce and their needs have to be considered, this goes without saying, but there are many aspects which literally do not make sense at all.
Just boils down to, you cheat you pay the price, and why not?
Well that is my rant for the day:woohoo:

Zara