new ground

I have to admit I'm a little worried about writing this, but here goes:S I got divorced last year, my ex buried his head in the sand the whole time so the divorce went pretty smoothly as I just carried on with each stage. However, once he found that I was not going to back down and change my mind the problems started. We have five children, so it was not easy for me to go down this route. But years of being cheated on and lied to had taken their toll and I reached a point where I thought if I dont get out now I'll have a breakdown. Having taken him back after his previous affairs, ( they were all in my head, I was just a jealous cow, he couldnt have any friends etc, he has finally admitted to the ones I know about) I found myself watching for the warning signs all the time. Now, 16 months on, he has a new girlfriend, not a problem with that in itself, he's single now. But after five days of knowing her she spent the night at his house while two of our children were there, and he introduced her to them over breakfast. Three days later he decided to move in with her. Now I'm expected to hand my children over to a stranger, every weekend. Things have been a nightmare since this started four weeks ago, I never thought I would stop my ex seeing his children, but we agreed no new partners to be introduced for at least three months but preferably six. She lives over thirty mins away via the motorway,in a different county, and he wont tell me where, so I have no contact address or phone number if there is any form of emergency. I have now got back to the point I was two years ago, feeling sick everytime I know I have to speak to, or see him, because I know he's going to kick off, or blank me. Even asking him a simple question takes a few hours to gear myself up. An old school friend recommended I come on here, as its been so helpful for her. Don't know if I'm in the right place, but I guess everyone on here has gone or is going through the same or similar. So I guess here's to new friendships and soggy shoulders!

Hi Chel
You most certainly have come to the right place, we have plenty of Kleenex here, I would think that Wiki have shares in the company. I am glad your friend recommended the site.
All here have been through bad times and I am sure that most still are. You will get support and advice by all that have experience in dealing with emotions and problems that go hand in hand with divorce and ex wives or husbands.
I think Wiki proves that we are not alone with thoughts and fears that we have concerning our children, the feelings of anger, frustration, hurt and hate. All these are completely normal and when we start talking about them it lifts a great weight from our shoulders.
You must be exhausted with five children, having to deal with it all on your own.
I am sure you will get legal advice on how you should deal with this situation, but if it were me, I would refuse point blank to let the children go anywhere unless you had a contact number. It is not an unreasonable request by any means. He is being unreasonable,
I am in no doubt you will receive lots of advice on this matter, but feel that you are entitled to an emergency number.
Keep posting on Wiki it will be a tremendous help for you.
zara